On the continuing saga of my Christmas posts, here's a lemon about what
might happen when I combine pokŽmon with Santa Claus.


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A Furry Christmas!



In the dead of night, Ash slept lightly.  It was the night before
Christmas, and all through the house, no one was stirring, not even an
electric mouse.  Actually, Pikachu was stripping Misty while she slept
and humping her ass.

Ash woke up with a groan.  He was having a strange nightmare that he
was being gangbanged by Laprases.  He pulled off the covers and walked
out of the bedroom, put on his jacket, and walked out of the house.
Maybe a nice walk would put him to sleep, he thought.

The ground was covered with freshly fallen snow from earlier that day.
It made a nice *crunch crunch* sound as he walked.  He left the limits
of his town and walked into the Viridian forest.  Not even the Pidgeys
were awake now.  The walk wasn't making him tired at all, damn it!  And
it was Christmas morning tomorrow!

Suddenly he heard a frantic bleating coming from deeper in the forest.
He ran deeper into the woods in the direction of the sound, almost
tripping a number of times over small logs.  Finally he reached the
source of the noise, which just happened to be a small, deer-like
creature who had its leg stuck in a trap.  "Huh?  What's that?"  He
reached into his pocket and pulled out Dexter.  "Dexter, analyze."

"*ding*  It's a deer, jackass."

"Oh.  Thanks."

The deer bucked and reared, but the steel teeth of the trap held it
firm.  Ash peered down and saw there wasn't a lot of blood; hell, there
was barely a wound.  Still, the deer would need to get out to survive.

He bent down and wrapped his hands around the trap, then pulled with
all his might, slowly prying the trap apart.  The deer sprang from the
trap like a bat out of hell and bucked and kicked, nearly hitting Ash
in the head.  "Whoa!  Calm down, will ya?!"  He moved out of the way
and let the deer calm itself.  "Geez...you'd think the world was about
to explode, or something."  He noticed there was a lack of a bulge
between its legs, which meant it was female.

It turned around to face him, her black eyes glistening in the
moonlight.  It stuck out her tongue and licked her face, wiping away
a few specks of dirt that had gotten on there somehow.  Suddenly she
bent down and grabbed his belt with its mouth and yanked it off with
one deft twist of its head.  "What the...?!"  She went right on ahead
and grabbed onto his zipper with her teeth, pulling it, and his pants,
down.  "Somebody help me, I'm being molested by a deer!"  But no one
was around at the time.

The deer tore off his underwear with its teeth, exposing his young
male genitals.  The animal licked it up and down, then took it in her
mouth, sucking gently.  It slowly became hard, rising to its full 5*
inches, slowly snaking its way down her throat.

Suddenly she spit it out, then spun around and presented her backside
to him.  In a moment of pure lust, he lunged forward and plunged his
cock into her.  She pressed back against him as he pulled out and
thrust back in, then again and again, faster and faster.  Her cunt was
hot as hell, and tight like a vice.  At one point he actually thought
she was squeezing his cock in her pussy.  It got tighter and tighter,
till he had to push harder to get inside.  As he pulled out, her pussy
loosened, then tightened that much more when he thrust back inside.

Finally he couldn't take it, and shoved in as far as he could, then
blew his load deep into her.  She loosened her cunt as much as
possible and arched her back, letting his cum dribble into her womb.
He collapsed on her back, now very tired.  Suddenly there was a
*crunch-crunch* sound coming his way, which meant someone was heading
toward them.  He stood up, pulled out, and refastened his pants and
belt as fast as he could, then stood straight up with as much dignity
and innocence as he could muster.

From out of the darkness came a man dressed in red with lines of white
in his suit.  He was a...heavy man, with a long white beard and pitch-
black boots, and he smelled of cookies and milk...

"Santa?" Ash asked, his heart filled with hope.

"Yes, Ash, it's me," the man replied.

"Wow!  I can't believe I'm talking to you!"

Just then Santa noticed the reindeer standing next to him.  "Oh, thank
god you found her!"

"Uhh, what?"

"My reindeer!  She fell out of the harness and wandered off.  I thought
I'd never see her again!"  Just then he noticed a white liquid dripping
from his animal's cunt...  "You fucked Slutty!"

"I fucked who?"

"You fucked Slutty, my tenth reindeer!  She goes in line right after
Rudolph!  You bastard, now she won't be able to pull the sleight!
Reindeer can't fly for twelve hours after having sex, damn it!!!"

He yanked Dexter out of his pocket and flipped it open.  "I thought you
said it was a regular deer!"

"*ding*  Fuck you."

He turned back to Santa.  "Look, I didn't know, okay?"

"It's a little late for that, you little bitch!"

"Dammit, Brock's the bitch, not me!!"

"That's it, I'm not gonna take this anymore!"  He fumbled around in his
bag, looking for something.  "I'm gonna haul your carcass over
Beijing!"

"Whoa!!!"  Ash ran as fast as he could toward his house, never looking
back.

***

He didn't make it back till after sunrise, since he got lost a couple
times and he had to stop and jack off occasionally.  Finally he burst
in his front door in a cold sweat and rushed into the living room,
where everyone was already opening their presents.

"Ash, what's wrong?" Misty asked.

"*huff, puff* Well, I just fucked a reindeer and I may have ruined
Christmas."

"Oh, Ash, did you go out without your hat again?" his mom asked.

Suddenly the front door burst open and everyone ran out into the front
hall to see Santa Claus holding a chainsaw in one hand and a very tired
reindeer in the other.  "Now Santa's goin' Leatherface on your asses!!"
the man in the suit shouted.

And of course, everyone screamed.  "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Then, all of a sudden, a giant penguin smashed through the walls of the
house, stepped on Santa, missed Slutty, ran through the other end of
the house, and ran off into the distance.

"What...the hell...was that?" Ash said slowly.

Brock stepped in just then.  "That...was really disturbing."

"Wow," Misty said softly.  "So, anyone want to go have eggnog?"

"Yeah!!!"

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Sweet Jesus, I've gone completely mad.  I just love the holidays,
don't you?  I'll see if I can write another Christmas themed lemon, or
maybe a millennium lemon.  Hmm...the millennium M&M's fucking Misty.
What'dya think?

I have *so* gone insane...


The Master of Eternal Darkness,

Shadow