Ok, here it is. Remember I have absolutely no experience [This is my first] so tell me anything I need to know. OK, this is my first MSTing, and I'm not too big on lemons (or at least I wasn't until I came to this NG with all its talented writers) and I know MSTing a fanfic means doing a Mystery Science Theater on its ass, not sure if itÕs still called a MSTing if I use different characters tho, like I care anyway. So IÕve finally got off my lazy ass (and I am VERY lazy) to contribute something to this NG. And I never finish any stories, and canÕt draw worth a fuck [donÕt have a scanner anyway] so this is what IÕll be doing. In my MSTings, IÕll be using the following characters: Alex - From Lunar:TSS / Lunar:TSSSC; My favorite game Ash - If you donÕt know who this is, donÕt bother staying on this NG too long. Luna - AlexÕs girlfriend [they donÕt get married in the game, but IÕm sure they do eventually]. Luna is also Goddess of Lunar, Althena. Even though she gives up her power at the end of the game, IÕll probably have her use it sometimes. Cartman - Southpark {Lunar Knight} - My voice directing them when they fuck up, and you can guess, I probably am going to have to do a lot of talking ~_~; Oi! Next, I just want to say [I have a lot to say donÕt I, I tend to do that, donÕt worry itÕs only in this 1st one....why are you reading this anyway?] the Lemon isnÕt mine, which you should know, this particular lemon belongs to Shadow; also if I use anyone elseÕs name or joke, donÕt get pissed, just tell me to never do it again, and IÕll think about it..... Some of the things I type in here are most likely not my opinion, just put in for a cheap joke. OK IF YOU READ THIS ITÕS FINALLY OVER, HEREÕS YOUR COOKIE! One day walking around the LemonÕs Labyrinth, {basically the SOL for my MSTings } the crew was watching TV when Ash sparked conversation. Ash: Hey Alex. Alex: Yea? Ash: What would you do for a Klondike bar? Alex: Well if I wasnÕt trapped in here, IÕd get in my boat, wait for a *certain someone* to rip out his hair and run in the middle of the street, and then WHAMMO! Ash: Forget I asked. Alex: Well there was that one time on the roof with the plane......Ah, forget it! ::Alarm sounds:: Ash/Alex/Luna: Lemon sign! ::All run into a door in the back:: Cartman: Another Goddamn lemon sign. ::takes his sweet time walking behind the rest:: >PokŽmon Trek: The Next Pikachu! > >Has anyone noticed that, until now, no one has taken advantage of a very >lucrative franchise? Well, I was watching Star Trek: Next Gen, and I began >wondering what a ship run by pokŽmon would be like. So, I wrote this story. >For this particular segment, anything a pokimon says will be translated by Ash, >at least when he's in the area. Ash: I wouldnÕt know anything about taking advantage of a lucrative franchise. Luna: Sure.... Cartman: After this, letÕs watch STAR WARS XXV: Milking the Franchise on HBO. Alex: IÕd rather play that torture Jar-Jar engine on Hecklers On-line. Luna: You still playing that? There are only about 4 ways to kill him, and one... er... Cartman: R2-D2 giving Jar-Jar a BJ is SWEET! Ash: You would like that, wouldnÕt you fat ass? Cartman: What the hell did you just say!? You canÕt say that to me, you belong on some lame hippie kidÕs show. Ash: Oh is it that way? IÕll have you know, I just got my Primeape back. ::Ash pulls out Primeape, who promptly kicks the hell out of ash and leaves:: Cartman: ThatÕs what you get for saying IÕm fat, the writer just adds 100 or so pounds. Alex: Can we get this story over with? Luna: One thing. This is our first Ôlemon.Õ WhatÕs a Ôlemon,Õ anyway? Ash: I donÕt know, you? Alex: Nope Cartman: I donÕt give a damn, what this damn shit is, as long as I get cheesy poofs. {Lunar Knight} : Well, you donÕt. Cartman: Who the hell is that? {Lunar Knight} : IÕm writing your lines and controlling your lives. Cartman: What the hell.. {Lunar Knight} : Can we just get on with it? This is getting longer than my intro, and we only played the intro to ShadowÕs lemon; and donÕt ask what it is, youÕll find out ::Laughs maniacally:: All others: um.... ::Deadpan:: {Lunar Knight}: Damn, making an ass of myself again. Just get on with it. >Pokidate 30523.14 >The Scene: Inside the U.P.S. Rapidash, on the bridge. ::Silence:: {Lunar Knight}: Well? No joke? Ash: What joke? {Lunar Knight}: I hate amateur MST casts..... When you see something you can mock, you make a lame assed joke. ThereÕs one ÔhiddenÕ in here, someone please say it ~_~ Luna: I get it. Oh, UPS Rapidash, does that mean they screw people out of mail by going on strike? Cartman: IÕll be glad when Machoke ÔStrikesÕ that damn Taco Bell dog..... {Lunar Knight}: DAMN IT CARTMAN, YOU ALREADY READ THIS!? AND DON'T GIVE AWAY THE END PARTS! Cartman: Yea, mom read this bedtime story to me last night. {Lunar Knight}: Um... ok bedtime story... Ash: Well it is CartmanÕs mom. {Lunar Knight} O yea; Damn it, now you wrecked my MSTing story by implying that you know what a lemon is, when you arenÕt supposed to. Luna: But we do, we rehearsed this about 6 times.... {Lunar Knight}: DAMN IT! IS EVERYONE TRYING TO RUIN ME!? OK, JUST FAKE IT FOR NOW! DONÕT SAY ANYTHING... JUST FAKE IT, Maybe they skipped this part.... >Misty: Ash, where are we? >Ash: I don't know...Hey, there's pikachu! >Pikachu: Pika pika chu pi chu pika! >Misty: What'd he say? >Ash: He said, 'you will address me as Captain Pikachu, you fucking human! >Misty: Such language! Ash: Hey IÕm in this.... Pikachu never said that though...this is weird. {Lunar Knight}: This is fan-fiction dumbass Ash: Oh yea. {Lunar Knight}: Now put your bum on that Swedish. HereÕs my cheap ÔBum Bum SongÕ insertion. (If you didnÕt know, the Bum Song is by Tom Green.) Ash: I wanna put my bum on the cheese, if I get lucky iÕll get a dis... but I donÕt wanna get sick. {Lunar Knight}: JUST SAY THE DAMN LINE NEXT TIME! >Pikachu: Pika pika chu chu! >Ash: Charmander, teach this cunt a lesson! (as himself) Hey, what?! >Misty: Cunt?! I'll teach you a lesson, you little rodent! (pulls out >a very large mallet) Take this! Alex: IÕve noticed sheÕs an Akane fan... Luna: And who is Akane!? Alex: Um... I just read....um...but sheÕs just an anime.....ah damn, IÕll explain later. >(Misty smashes Pikachu into his chair and charmander fries her, then a >Machoke takes her into the elevator.) Ash: That bitch finally gets what sheÕs got cominÕ, but just in some stupid story about us on a spaceship. >Pikachu: Pika pika chu pikachu! >Ash: Ensign Oddish, open a channel to Admiral Mewtwo! > >(the screen in front of the bridge flashes with a picture of Mewtwo in a >uniform covered with medals and stars. At the moment, he's getting a blowjob >from Vulpix.) Ash/Luna/Alex: WHAT THE HELL!!!..... Cartman: SWEET. >Pikachu: Pika pi chu? >Ash: How are you, admiral? >Mewtwo: Fine, captain. >Ash: Fine, oh wait, he can talk. >Mewtwo: Have you found the pirate ship Haunter, yet? >Pikachu: Pi pikachu. >Mewtwo: Well, then keep looking! Oh, wait one minute... > >(Vulpix spits out his cock and he blows his load on the screen. Ash: Do we.... Alex: Have to.... Luna: Read this....????? Cartman: Hehe... Mewtwo cum........ {Lunar Knight}: Ok, CartmanÕs getting the hang of it, IÕm doubling your pay. Cartman: SWEET! Luna: Um... Cartman, we arenÕt getting paid. Cartman: You're just jealous, hippie. Luna: But zero times two.....ah fuck it. Alex: You never said that word before. Luna: Never saw Mewtwo cum on a Vulpix either. Alex: Point taken. >Ash: Nasty! >Mewtwo: Get that human off the bridge! And get me a tortilla! >Ash: Huh? Why does he want a tortilla? > >(The screen goes black) > >Pikachu: Pika pi pi pikachu. Chu pika pi pika. >Ash: Okay, human, get off the bridge. Workman Meowth, take him away! > >(Meowth walks onto the bridge and takes Ash into the elevator.) > >Meowth: So, how are things in the past? >Ash: Huh? >Meowth: Don't you remember? We used the tortilla-powered time portal~ Alex: Tortilla powered time mach ...........ThatÕs almost as weird as that Mewtwo thing. >~to bring you from the past to here. >Ash: Why? >Meowth: I don't know, I just work here! (slashes Ash's face) Ash: Sex and pointless violence...., If the Sex wasnÕt with Mewtwo and Vulpix, and the violence not on me, I would like this..... Cartman: Sex and violence are totally killer. >(The elevator stops, and Ash and Meowth get out and walk down a hallway) > >Meowth: Okay, we have several dozen Vulpix to service any urges you may >have,~ Ash: Somehow, I donÕt like someone to say Vulpix and urges to me in the same sentence. Luna: Looks like some fun planned for you, ash. Ash: DonÕt......say......it. >~along with a collection of holo-sex programs, and... >Ash: Wait a minute, where's Brock? >Meowth: Who? > >The Scene: The Time-Space-Tortilla Room >Brock: Huh? Where am I? >Vulpix: Vulpix, vulpix! >Brock: Vulpix? What are you doing here? What am *I* doing here? >Vulpix: Vulpix! > >(Vulpix leaves the room and Brock follows.) > >Brock: Whoa, cool decor! (A Golem walks by) Hey, is that a... >Vulpix: Vulpix! >(scorches Brock's shoes, then keeps walking) > >The Scene: The elevator with Misty and that Machoke >Misty: Hey, where are we going? Machoke: Machoke! >Misty: Right, you can't talk. >Machoke: Machoke? >Misty sniffed the air and caught the scent of a strong musk. She looked down >and saw a 10" cock sticking out from the Machoke's groin. Ash/Luna: Not again Cartman: This part is cool... Alex: ....wow........ >Misty: Whoa, that thing could put an eye out! >She wrapped her hand around it and started jerking him off, listening to him >groan. Ash: Well Misty IS a slut so...... Luna: IsnÕt she your friend? Ash: How could I like a girl like that. ::Suddenly Misty comes out of nowhere and whacks Ash with a giant mallet:: Misty: FINE THEN ASH KETCHUM, IF THATÕS IT, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN AFTER I GET MY BIKE. ::Misty disappears as suddenly as she appeared:: Ash: H....h....how.....? Cartman: Hey donÕt take shit from her; if a woman was giving me trouble, IÕd be all like: Hey, get your bitch ass in bed...and......and make babies. Luna: Oh, really now. WOMEN ARENÕT SO EASILY PUSHED AROUND, NOW SHUT THE HELL UP. Cartman: Whoa, yes maÕam >Misty: Does this feel good? Machoke: Machoke... >She moved her hand along his cock faster, then took the tip in her mouth and >starts sucking. Alex: Do we really have to see this? {Lunar Knight}: You know, anyone who would be tryinÕ to jack off to this probably is sick of you guys right now Alex: Who the hell would jerk off to this......DAMMIT ASH! Ash: Hey you try lookinÕ at this stuff when you just hit puberty! {Lunar Knight}: Just get on with it..... and Ash, be sure to clean up. >Machoke: Ma machoke! >The machoke pulled his cock out of her mouth and shot his load all over her >face, hair and tits. Unfortunately, Misty hadn't cum yet. >Misty: Well, you're no fun! >She looked down and saw the Machoke was still hard. She grabbed his shoulders >and pulled herself up onto his cock. She could only fit about six inches inside >her before it hurt, then she used his shoulders to pump his cock. As she came >all over his cock, the doors opened, and Brock saw just about everything. >Brock: Misty! >Misty: Brock!! (climbs off of Machoke) So, you're here too? >Brock: Yeah, the last thing I remember is drowning in the ocean around >Cinnabar island, then I was here. Misty: Oh, yeah, me and Ash were fucking. >You must've been grabbed by a tentacool. Ash : Ok, me and Misty? That ruined my *special time*. Alex: Well good, I didnÕt want any of that stuff on me anyway, >Brock: What?! You two were fucking while I was drowning?! >Misty: Well, *sorry!* >Vulpix: Vulpix, vulpix! >(Brock follows Vulpix and Misty follows Brock) >The Scene: The Infirmary >(It's a Star Trek infirmary with that doctor that was in Pokimon Emergency. I >don't remember his name, so I just call him Dr. Applby.) {Lunar Knight}: Why do half the people on AGNPH spell it with an ÔIÕ, itÕs a damn Ž, or e. Cartman: Let us do our damn job. You donÕt comment. {Lunar Knight}: ItÕs my damn MSTing, and donÕt tell me what to do, you bastard; remember, I control you... ::Cartman suddenly starts hitting himself in the face:: Cartman: Son of a bitch.. >Dr. Applby: Hey, vulpix, come to give me a blowjob? >Vulpix: Vulpix, vulpix. >Dr. Applby: Really? New patients? >(Brock and Misty enter) >Vulpix: Vulpix! >Dr. Applby: She says to get on the table. (to Brock) You first, >please. (to Misty) You can probably go to the bridge. >We don't have any quarters for you, I'm afraid. > >(Brock gets on the table, and Misty and Vulpix leaves.) > >Dr. Applby: Let me guess, you're from the past, right? >Brock: Yeah, so? >Dr. Applby: Well, that means I have to run some tests on you, like, >for example, eye coordination. (grabs a picture) >Now, watch the tits. (moves the picture around)~ Alex : I like this doctor..... Luna: Well fine, you just stare at that.... ::Suddenly the Sword of Althena appears in LunaÕs hands and she is chasing Alex all over:: Cartman: Sweet! I gotta see this. :: Cartman follows Luna, who is chasing Alex with a sword:: Ash : What is with these people....... >Brock: Hey now! I think I'll like the future! >Dr. Applby: Yeah, well, it won't all be like this. Since you're >from the past, you probably don't understand a word >the pokimon are saying. >Brock: (still watching the tits) Yeah... >Dr. Applby: We have a universal translator on board, but it's been >so long since anyone who can't understand pokimon has >been on this ship, we just turned it off. I can turn >it on again, but it might not take effect for a few >hours. It *has* been off for a while. >Brock: (*still* watching the tits) >Yeah, sure... >Dr. Applby: Stop watching the tits! (takes the picture away) Alex : NOoooooo, put the tits back... Luna: Now I got you... ::Luna sends Alex flying by whacking him with the blunt edge of the blade:: ::Alex lands in his seat, upside-down:: >The Scene: The Bridge >Pikachu: Pika pik pi pika? >Ash: Charmander, are we in range of the pirate ship? >Charmander: Char, char! >Ash: Yes, sir. >Pikachu: Pika pi pika. >Ash: Open a channel. > >(A picture of a really big Muk appears on the viewscreen, and Misty walks >onto the bridge.) >Pikachu: Pika, pikachu, pika pi pi pikachu. >Ash: So, Captain Muk, how have you been? >Muk: Mu mu muk muk mu muk mu muk! >Ash: I will destroy your vessel and lay waste to your tortillas! >Misty: WHAT IS WITH THESE POKIMON AND TORTILLAS?!?!?!?! > >(The Taco Bell dog walks onto the bridge) Ash: Oh no.... >Taco Bell Dog: We ve gone south of the border, Chiquita! >Misty: STOP WITH THE GODDAMN SPANISH!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! >Taco Bell Dog: Yo queiro loca! >Misty: (pulls out a very large mallet) Loca this, you little rat! Alex: Now he had this coming long ago. ::Taco bell dog walks into the room:: Dog: ItÕs a logarithm baby! {Lunar Knight}: Get him!!! Ash: DonÕt we have to finish this story first? {Lunar Knight}: Just go! ::Ash, Cartman and Luna start to chase the dog, while Alex is still stuck upside-down in his chair:: >(The viewscreen splits into two pictures, Muk on the left and Admiral Mewtwo >on the right.) >Mewtwo: Captain Pikachu, have you...hey, what s that girl doing? Looks like >she's playing whack-a-mole. >Pikachu: Pika pika pi pi pikachu. >Ash: Actually, it s more like whack-a-dog... >(the Taco Bell dog jumps Misty) >Mewtwo: Hey, look at that! Now the dog's whacking her! This is better than a >porno! >Pikachu: Pika! >Muk: Mu mu mu muk muk mu mu muk! >Ash: Surrender, or die! >Mewtwo: Hey, is that Captain Muk? Be sure to give him the finger for me, >Pikachu. >(The viewscreen returns to normal, and Pikachu gives Muk the finger.) > >Muk: Mu mu muk! Ash: Fire the forward Grimer cannons! >Pikachu: Pika pi pika pikachu! >Ash: Fire the phasers and get me a tortilla! >(The pirate ship fires a stream of purple goo at the U.P.S. Rapidash, which >burns right through the shields and the outer hull.) >Pikachu: Pika pi! Pika pikachu pika pika! Pi pika pika pikachu! Pi pika! >Ash: Return fire! Launch the Abra torpedoes! And get me my personal >slut! I m horny! >(A female pikachu walks onto the bridge and starts sucking Pikachu's cock. >Soon after, Brock walks onto the bridge.) Alex: Now, IÕm all alone seeing this sex scene, between electric mice....... Alex:.................HHHEEEEELLLLPPPP ME! {Lunar Knight}: ItÕs not that bad, people read this on their own for enjoyment you know. Alex: They do...? {Lunar Knight}: Why do you think you are here making fun of it? Alex:.......How the hell did we get here anyway? {Lunar Knight}: .................................................................. >Pikachu: Pik pika pikachu! Pi pi...pika pi pika... >Ash: Target the forward nacelles! Get the...damn, that's good... >Pikachu: Pika pikachu! >Ash: Come on, use your tongue, slut! >Brock: Pikachu, I mean, captain, shouldn't you concentrate on the battle? >Pikachu: Pika pi pika! Pikachu! Pika pika pi pika pi pikachu! >Ash: Shut the fuck up, bitch! Hey, Charmander! Go get all the Raichu's and make >them blow up that ship! >Charmander: Char char! >Ash: Aye aye! >(Charmander walks off the bridge) >The Scene: Raichu loading docks >Charmander: Char, char, charmander. Raichu's: Rai raichu. >(All the Raichu's crawl into a tube, then send a few million volts through a >transformer. It gets rerouted to the phaser array and blasts the pirate ship >to pieces) ::By now the other three have caught the dog and turned him into Gordita meat:: Alex: Hey this tastes just like a regular gordita. Ash: It has the same ingredients.... ::After eating Taco bell food, Cartman farts and goes flying through the roof:: Alex: Except, now that the dog is dead, where do they get their *special sauce* Luna: Oh, you mean the *Sour cream* Ash: Looks like none will be *cumming* soon {Lunar Knight}: Stupid jokes nobody will laugh at......YOU GUYS ARE A PERFECT MST CAST! IÕll put you in all my MSTings. Now IÕm going to get Cartman back. You are on your own for now.. Ash: Did we just unknowingly sign a slavery contract? Alex: We have to see more stuff like this? Luna: Oh well, might as well make the best of it ::Luna drags the 2 guys on the floor and starts screwing Alex, and giving Ash a BJ:: Alex: IÕm going to like this job...... Ash: Did you hear something? Alex: A sound like we just smashed a third grader who was hiding under the seat? Ash: Yea. Alex: Nope didnÕt hear a thing Ash: ok.... >The Scene: The Bridge >Pikachu: Pi pikachu! Ash: Fucking yes! >Taco Bell Dog: Yo queiro pussy! >Misty: Machoke, help me! >(Machoke gets the dog off Misty and yanks his dick off.) Alex: AHHH..... Ash: Damnit thatÕs the second time this story kept me from getting off. ::Lunar Knight looks thrugh the hole Cartman made and sees the others getting up from having sex, to notice a bloody body under them:: {Lunar Knight} OH MY GOD! They Killed Kenny! Cartman: You bastard, he owes me five bucks! >Machoke: Machoke! >Taco Bell Dog: Yo queiro ouch! Luna: So he liked having his dick ripped off? Alex: huh? Luna: Yo Queiro Taco Bell means ÔI want Taco BellÕ, so Yo Queiro Ouch means he wants ouch... >Pikachu: Pika pikachu! >Ash: Sluts for everyone! >Brock: Hurray! I'm gonna get laid! Ash: Ok, thereÕs bending reality, but this is just wrong, Brock is never EVER getting laid. ------------------------------------------------- Well, that's the first episode of PokŽmon Trek: The Next Pikachu! For the next episode, expect: More sex! Team Rocket returns! An automatic translation of the pokimon language! More characters! Horny aliens! More sex! Stay tuned! ::The crew is back in the living room next to the ÔLemon RoomÕ:: Ash: So now what? {Lunar Knight}: You can do what you want until I do another MSTing. So, how do you like your jobs? Ash: ItÕs ok.. Alex: It got Luna horny, so I like it! Luna: Make commercials so we have time for a quick fuck. Alex: Cartman: Killer-sweet. ---End MSTing here--- So do you like it? Do I suck? Should I change the cast? Tell me damn you!