Well time to make up for my laziness! HereÕs the next MST! [Due to the reason of me repeatedly forgetting cast members, it has been cut to: Alex, Luna, Ash, & Icy; with Cartman & Jimmy there, just not doing the MSTing. Just them and the occasional guest star.] And now, I present to you..... Pokefucked! Episode VII: Shit happens {Lunar Knight}: As we last left our heroes, they were ascending UltimeciaÕs castle and... Ash: Huh? Alex: Who? Icy: Um... thatÕs FFVIII. {Lunar Knight}: Oh, yea. Er..... And as the bearer of the ÔBright Shield RuneÕ came to the place where he made his promise to return to Jowy..... Icy: ThatÕs Suikoden II. {Lunar Knight}: Shit! Um... A tale of soul and swords, eternally told..... Ash: Soul Blade. {Lunar Knight}: Um....um....um.....er.....um.... Tell me the answer, is fate unchangeable? Even at his weakest, manÕs existence is never without meaning........ Icy: Suikoden I {Lunar Knight}: DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT! I wanna be the very best, like....... Ash: Pokemon. {Lunar Knight}: AAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!! Um, what am I doing again? Alex: YouÕre starting the fucking MST! {Lunar Knight}: Oh yeah. WhereÕd that fucking monotone asshole go? -Later Monotone Narrator: And now we see Icy sitting alone in the main room... {Lunar Knight}: Alone? Where the fuck is everyone else? Icy: Alex and Luna went to go fuck and Ash is secretly going back to that Magmar. {Lunar Knight}: Um, ok..... Icy: I bet youÕre wondering how I know this? {Lunar Knight}: Yea..... Icy: I kept getting killed, so I got mail order psychic abilities. {Lunar Knight}: Riiiiiiight.... < Alex, Luna, and Ash are all running into the room; and all putting on their pants just as the lemon starts....> ~ PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu! On the last episode ~ {Lunar Knight}: Speaking of last episode, check this out. ::Holds up birdcage, with a bird in it:: Alex: WhatÕs that? {Lunar Knight}: ItÕs the bird that dreamt the last episode. Icy: Um.... yea that was fucked up...... ~ of PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu! We traveled back to the past/future [not getting into this again] and relived the wild party that got Brock laid!!! ~ Ash: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5, Section 15, Article 5. Icy: SHUT THE HELL UP! ::Smacks Ash:: ~ Now we go back on track with our regularly scheduled timeline, and the next season and episode of PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu! Today's guest-stars are: Cloud, Tifa, Aeris and Yuffie from FF7!!! Episode VII: Attack of the One-Liners ~ Ash: WhatÕs a one-liner? {Lunar Knight}: Something like this; 3.....2......1..... Happosai: Haha, youÕll never catch me! Ranma: DonÕt bet on it you old fool! Ryoga: Get back here Ranma, you coward! Ash: ::Blank stare:: Oh....riiiiight...... ~ PokŽdate: 30623.01 Location: The Kraaby Nebula The Scene: The Bridge (like it'd be anywhere else) (everybody is doing their jobs, Abra and Misty are fucking in a corner, and Brock is standing near the back of the bridge watching the viewscreen. Suddenly, the Lone Ranger rides onto the bridge, shoots the captain and everybody else, and rides away!) ~ Ash: Oh, so thatÕs a one liner! {Lunar Knight}: Yea, Like this! 3...2...1.... Max: Come Sancho, we must fight for the honor of the Knights of Maximillion! Sancho: Yes sir! Ash: Now IÕm confused again.... ~ Brock: What the fuck?! Pikachu: Oh, that was the Lone Ranger. Brock: Yeah, I figured that, but what the fuck was he doing here? Pikachu: He booked passage. Brock: But why did he ride through here shooting people? Pikachu: Because he requested the 'Shoot People Passenger Package.' Brock: But why do you let him shoot people?!?!?! Pikachu: Because he paid cash. Brock: But...he...(head explodes from frustration, then grows back) Pikachu: Whoa, cool! Let's see you do that again! (shocks Brock's head off, but it doesn't grow back) Pikachu: Huh? Oh, well, that guy was a bitch, anyway. (just then, Brock walks onto the bridge) Pikachu: What the hell?! Brock: Hey, have you seen my clone? Pikachu: Your...what? Brock: My clone. The doc said I should have a clone just in case I need any extra major organs and...(sees his clone) WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?! Pikachu: Well, see... Brock: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY CLONE?! Pikachu: Hey, I ask the questions around here, bitch! (shocks Brock) Brock: (muttering) Fucking asshole... Pikachu: Where's my sluts?!?!? I want a BJ! Charmander: Yeah, you and half the ship. (Admiral Mewtwo appears on the viewscreen) Mewtwo: Hey, what's happening? Pikachu: Not much, sir. We haven't exactly been busy here. Mewtwo: Yeah, I figured that. Anyway, there's been a disappearance of a bunch of sluts in your area. We think Team Rocket is behind it, and you've been given the mission to investigate. Good luck. (viewscreen goes black) Pikachu: Damn, a slutnapping? Makes me horny. Where's my slut?! Charmander: Uh, sir, I'm not reading any Vulpix life signs. Pikachu: WHAT?!?!?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?!?!?! Charmander: Actually, they're gone. As well as...well, just about every other slut on this ship, including yours. Pikachu: (head twitches) Need...pussy...(runs off the bridge and humps the elevator) ~ Ash: Now IÕm R-E-A-L-L-Y confused! Icy: * Note to self, fuck an elevator.... ~ Abra: That dude's too horny for his own good. Good thing I've got my very own...(looks down) WHAT THE....?!?!?! WHERE'S MISTY?! Charmander: You know, I was wondering why you were fucking thin air... Abra: Shut the fuck up! I need pussy! (humps the other elevator) Charmander: Damn, they've got a problem. The Scene: Rocket Ship, on the other side of the nebula Misty: Where the hell am I? James: You're on the Rocket ship to Hell! Misty: Fucking shit! I don't believe this! (reaches for a mallet) Hey, where the hell's my mallet?! Jessie: We've taken away your little toys, bitch! Misty: Yeah? Well, I can kick ass without my mallet! (Misty beats the shit out of James, then Jessie smacks her with a mallet, and she falls unconscious.) The Scene: The Bridge of the Rapidash (Pikachu is sitting in his chair curled up in a little ball, trying to jerk off, Abra is running around humping stuff, and Mewtwo is on the viewscreen, getting a blowjob from Jenny) Mewtwo: Hey guys, how's the mission going? Pikachu: (twitching) J-just g-g-great sir...um, sir, could you not do that now? Mewtwo: Oh, right, sorry. (sends Jenny away) So, how's it going? Pikachu: Well, sir, all our sluts are missing, and we have no idea who took them, or where they are. Mewtwo: Actually, I have a couple of leads for you. We think Team Rocket took them, and we think they're just on the other side of the nebula. Unfortunately, you'll have to go around it the long way. Pikachu: I don't know if we can last that long... Mewtwo: Yeah, that's kinda what I thought, so I found a bunch of blades for hire, so to speak. They should arrive on the bridge right about... (Cloud, Tifa, and Yuffie walk in) Mewtwo: Now! Cloud: Hey, Mewtwo, where are all the Vulpix? I thought they were included in the deal. Mewtwo: Hey, that's your mission, asshole. Once you help these guys find their sluts, you can get a couple of your own. Tifa: Hey, what about us? Mewtwo: Well, let's see, there's about five hundred horny guys on that ship, so what are you worried about? Yuffie: What about the materia you promised? Mewtwo: For fuck's sake, would you three just do your fucking job?! We'll work out the details later! (the viewscreen goes black) The Scene: Ash's quarters (Ash is trying to find his vulpix, then Aeris walks in) Ash: Whoa, what the fuck?!?! Aeris: Huh? How the hell did I get here? The last thing I remember is Sephiroth running me through, then I was here... Ash: Huh? What? Aeris: Damn it, I'm horny! It feels like I haven't fucked anything for centuries! Ash: Umm...(starts getting hard) Aeris: Oh, well, you'll be better than my fingers. (jumps Ash) The Scene: The Bridge Charmander: Hey, there's an unidentified life form in Ash's quarters. Pikachu: Okay, Abra, teleport them onto the bridge. Abra: I'll need a blowjob first. Yuffie: Oh, fine, I'll do it. (sucks on Abra's cock) Abra: Woohoo! (Ash and Aeris appear on the bridge, still fucking) Cloud: Huh?! Aeris?! I thought you were dead! Aeris: Nope, sorry, just horny! ~ {Lunar Knight}: IsnÕt it so hard to tell the difference between dead and horny? Luna : Oh my god! Alex is dead! Alex: Nope just horny. Luna: Phew...... Ash: ........... Icy: .......... {Lunar Knight}: .........*Fart*....... ~ Charmander: Oh, yeah, now I remember! The admiral told us we were bringing another person from the past here to help. Yuffie: (still sucking on Abra's cock) Mmm'd mm-mmm muh mmm mmph? Abra: What she said is, 'How'd you bring her back to life?' Charmander: Oh, we just transported her here before she died, then we used our medical technology to heal her. ~ {Lunar Knight}: Heal from what? A bad mirror trick? There wasnÕt even any blood..... Neclord: Someone say blood? Viktor: Die Neclord! Star Dragon Sword: I shall kill you, vampire! Ash:............ another 1 liner? {Lunar Knight}: Yes, mine are special, they come in pairs or triples....... ~ Tifa: Cool! Pikachu: You know, I've been wondering something ever since I laid eyes on you... (jumps Tifa and rips off her shirt) Tifa: Holy...! What the fuck are you doing? Pikachu: (licks a tit) Holy shit, they're real! Tifa: Get the fuck off me! (smacks him across the bridge) Pikachu: Whoo! I love a slut who likes it rough! Tifa: Disgusting! Cloud: Can we get down to business, *please?* The Scene: The Rocket ship (Misty is tied up to a torture rack and James is holding an iron dildo over a fire, kind of like a branding iron.) Jessie: Hey, bitch, remember this voice? Voice: YO QUEIRO PUSSY!!!!!! Misty: Ah, fucking shit! ~ Ash / Icy / Alex: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Luna: HeÕs soooo cute ~ (And the Taco Bell dog makes his appearance!) Misty: Damn it! Okay, how'd he get here?!?!?! James: We brought him back to life using the Rejuvenating thing-a-ma-jig. And he's VERY happy to see you! (the Taco Bell dog jumps on Misty and starts fucking her) Misty: Shit! This fucking sucks! Taco Bell Dog: Great idea, bitch! (sticks his cock in her mouth) Misty: Hmph!!! (bites it off) ~ {Lunar Knight}: Speaking of ripping off the dogÕs dick, whatever happened to Machoke? ~ Taco Bell Dog: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (grows another dick, then fucks her asshole) Misty: DAMMIT!!! James: Hey, get the fuck off her! I want to fuck her! Taco Bell Dog: No fucking way, senor estupido! James: (smashes him with a mallet) Fuck you! I want to fuck her!!! (James and the Taco Bell dog start fighting, then Jessie starts licking Misty.) The Scene: The Rapidash, Ten-Forward (Ash and Aeris are fucking all over the room, Cloud and Tifa are fucking on a table, and Yuffie is still sucking Abra.) Pikachu: DAMN IT, WHY CAN'T I GET LAID?!?!?!?!?!?!? (runs across the room, shocks Cloud unconcious, then fucks Tifa) Pikachu: WOOHOO! Cloud: (wakes up, groaning) Fucking... (takes out his sword) Get the fuck off her! Tifa: (moaning) Mind your own business, Cloud! Cloud: (sulking) Damn, fucked over by a rodent... (Charmander walks in) Charmander: Okay, that's enough fucking, now can we get to work? (everyone cums, then gets dressed and goes to the bridge) The Scene: The Bridge (Pikachu and Tifa are fucking in the front of the bridge, and everyone else is standing around, trying to look professional.) Pikachu: Charmander, what's our current position? Charmander: I'd say doggy-style. Pikachu: Very funny, shithead. Where's the Rocket ship? Charmander: It's about three light-years away, but if we go any closer, they'll detect us on long-range sensors. Pikachu: So? Let 'em! I'm ready for a fight! Charmander: Yeah, right. (Suddenly, the Bunny Man runs onto the bridge) Bunny Man: I'm the Bunny Man! Love me! All: AAAAAAHHHH!!!!! (the Bunny Man leaves.) ~ Ash: Another one liner? {Lunar Knight}: Yup.... Mr.Hankey: Howdy Ho! Toilet Duck: Quack Quack! Ash:............. Alex:........ Luna:.......... Icy:............... {Lunar Knight}: ............*fart*......... ~ The Scene: The Infirmary Brock: Come on, doc, you gotta get me a slut! Dr. Applby: Look, there aren't any on the whole ship, so shut the fuck up! Brock: You don't even have a plastic pussy? Dr. Applby: Why bother keeping fakes when there's a pussy readily available within five feet of you at all times? Besides, what do you care? You got laid. Brock: TWICE!!! Dr. Applby: Trust me, that's not something to be proud of. Brock: Please, just let me... Dr. Applby: (takes out a picture) Watch the tits! Brock: Tits............... ~ Alex: TITS! Luna: ::Bashes Alex with a Mallet:: ~ The Scene: The Rocket Ship (James is fucking Misty, and Jessie is torturing the Taco Bell dog. Suddenly, the Chicken Man comes in!) Chicken Man: I'm the Chicken Man! Barbeque me! All: AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! (The Chicken Man crosses the road and gets hit by a Mach truck. And that's what happens when a Chicken Man crosses the road.) ~ A.A.: YouÕll never get me! M.M.: IÕm gonna kick your ass! Ash: ............... Alex:.......... Luna:....... Icy:..... {Lunar Knight}: ......*fart*...... TB Dog: The 3 magical burito farts have summoned me! Ash / Icy / Alex: AHHHHHHH!!!!! Luna: Oh, wow! HeÕs really here! {Lunar Knight}: KILL IT! one more time..... TB Dog: Eh? TB Dog : IÕll be back, assholes! < TB Dog dissappears> ~ James: And that makes...(cums in Misty) Eighteen! Misty: And it gets worse every time. James: Shut the fuck up, bitch! (starts fucking her again) Misty: You could at least get me a Playboy, dickhead! The Scene: The Bridge (everyone's doing their job, Brock is jerking off to the tits in a corner, Aeris and Ash are *still* fucking. Suddenly, the Machete Man runs onto the bridge.) Machete Man: DIE BY MACHETE!!! (runs off the bridge) Brock: Okay, this is getting really weird. ~ Machete Man: Die by spork! {Lunar Knight}: Just shut the fuck up. ~ Pikachu: Shut the fuck up, bitch. Charmander: Captain, we're in communications range with the Rocket ship. Should I hail them? Pikachu: Fuck yes, hail them! Then blow them out of the sky! Charmander: Sir, if we destroy them, we won't get our sluts back. Pikachu: Oh, right. Okay, hail them. (the viewscreen flashes with a picture of Misty tied to a torture rack and James fucking her. Jessie is riding the Taco Bell dog in the corner. One of the Rockets is fucking a female pikachu in front of the viewscreen.) Pikachu: DAMN IT, GIVE ME BACK MY SLUTS!!!! Rocket: Fuck you! Open fire! James: Huh? Oh, right! (The Rocket ship fires on the Rapidash, then they fire back, then Pussy Man, the universe's biggest freak runs onto the bridge) Pussy Man: I'm the Pussy Man! Fuck me! Yuffie: HOLY SHIT, IT'S A GIANT TALKING PUSSY! ~ ~ Brock: Oh my God, it's my worst nightmare come to life! The Scene: My Producer's Office Producer: Listen, what the fuck is with all these weird freaks running around? I thought those guys from FF7 were guest-starring. Shadow: Yeah, but those guys all requested one-liners in this episode, and I figured it couldn't hurt. Producer: This is supposed to be a quality lemon, and you're turning it into a circus sideshow! Shadow: Yeah, right! This thing stopped being quality when I turned Evan into a lemon salesman. Producer: That reminds me, Evan still wants to know when you're going to post that lemon about him and Misty. Shadow: (exasperated) I'm working on it! The Scene: The Bridge of the Rapidash (the Rapidash has just blasted the hell out of the Rocket ship, and now they're going through the terms of surrender. I apologize for anybody who wanted to see a good fight, but I really didn't have time. Let's just say Cloud and Tifa beat up all the Rockets, Yuffie put a bunch of holes in their ship, and Aeris killed a bunch of them with magic.) Pikachu: Abra! Abra: Yeah, boss? Pikachu: Contact the others and get them to teleport all those sluts back onto our ship! Abra: Sure, boss. (By the way, if you're wondering how Team Rocket got all those sluts from the Rapidash, I'm just gonna say they used Kadabra's, who have a much longer teleportation range than Abras. I can't really think up a better explanation than that at the moment.) The Scene: Vulpix Storage Ash: So...we got all the Vulpix back, so which one is mine? Bob: (points one out) That one! Ash: How the fuck can you tell? Bob: Because she looks like she's only been fucked twice. Ash: (embarrassed) Well....she....looks at me! Bob: Sure she does. Ash: Fuck that, I'm horny! (picks up his Vulpix and sticks his cock in her) Aaah! (pulls out) It's all mushy! Bob: Huh? (sticks his finger in another) Whoa, they're all fucked out! Looks like Team Rocket really enjoyed themselves. ~ Icy: Those evil bastards! ~ Ash: But...I can't fuck her like this! Pikachu: Time for the Revirginizer! (my own creation!) ~ Ash: Ooooooo, whatÕs that? Alex: Hey Lu... Luna: DonÕt even think it..... ~ Misty: The what? Bob: The Revirginizer! It'll make all these Vulpix virgins again! Ash: Whoa, cool! Let's do it! The Scene: The Revirginizer Room Bob: Okay, all we have to do is throw the switch! Igor: Switch....virgin....fuck.... Pikachu: Just throw the fucking switch, Frankenbitch! (Igor throws the switch, and all the Vulpix are covered in light for a few seconds, then Igor hits the switch again, and the light dies down.) Ash: (picks up his Vulpix and sticks his dick inside) Whoa! Totally tight! Bob: Umm, I'd be careful if I were you... Ash: (trying to get his cock inside) Huh? Why? Bob: Because now that she's a virgin, you might hurt her, and if you do... (Ash tries to push in further, then the Vulpix squeals, turns around, and fries his head.) Ash: Ouch. Bob: Told you. Aeris: I wonder what would happen if a guy went in..... Pikachu: Like the bitch? Brock: No, wait! (Pikachu shocks Brock unconcious, throws him in, Igor throws the switch, and in short, Brock is a virgin again!) Brock: Huuhhh.......what the......SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a virgin again! ~ Ash: Section 15, Article 5 prevails again! ~ Pikachu: (laughing hysterically) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! YOU'RE STILL A BITCH!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! (by the way, I don't really know how a guy could become a virgin again, but since this is my machine and my lemon, it's my choice. Of course, my producer's right, this lemon is getting a little weird.) The Scene: The Bridge, about an hour later (Suddenly, the Furby Man runs in!) Furby Man: I'm the Furby Man! I...... All: DIE, FURBY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!! (Pikachu shocks his fir off, Misty smacks him with a mallet, Tifa punches him in the balls, Aeris beats him with her staff, Yuffie stabs him with her that big-ass ninja star, and Cloud slices his dick off. Brutal, ain't it?) The End!!! (Okay, as for future episodes, everybody from FF7 will be gone, at least for the next episode. In episode 9 I'll be bringing back whoever wins the 'favorite character' vote.) On the next PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu! We finally figure out what happened to that Flareon! Pikachu grows another dick! The ship enters the Chaos Zone!!! Everything gets really fucked up!!! It's total chaos on the next episode of: PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu! The Master of Eternal Darkness, Shadow ~ {Lunar Knight}: So ends another episode of Pokefucked! Ash: Something is missing..... Icy: DonÕt try to kill me, my mail-order psychic power can predict anything you do......shit. THE EN~ Laguna: WhoÕs been using my battle music? Evan: Not so fast there! Judy: YouÕre coming with me! {Lunar Knight}: Oh well; another week, another lawsuit...... THE END!