PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


On the previous episode of [I'm not saying it again] Ash and crew went
to a system with backwards-spelled names, and tried to catch a crook.
Thanks to Bob's wacky plans, Ash got an ear-full of The Mad Fucker's
psychoses, whether he wanted to or not.  Hey, it's auditory rape!  Now
there's one for Ally McBeal!  Anyway, on with the next episode of:

PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


Today's guest-star is Natsume as Sabrina: gym master, psychic, and
extreme babe.  Also guest-starring is the movie 'Young Frankenstein',
since this episode is just a parody of it.  Well, go ahead and check
it out.


Episode XVI:  Monster Mash!

PokŽdate:  30811.05

Location:  The Beestly system

The Scene:  The Bridge

(Pikachu is chasing one of his sluts around the bridge while the other
two are licking each other)

Pikachu:  Woo-hoo!  C'mere and give me some sweet lovin', baby!
Ash:  Uhh, why do you have to chase her?
Pikachu:  I like it when they play hard-to-get!
Brock:  You're weird.
Pikachu:  Shut yer hole, bitch! (shocks him, then jumps his slut)
Ash:  How do you know she wants to fuck?
Pikachu:  (still fucking)  If she didn't want to, she'd let me know.
Ash:  (turns to Alysa)  If you didn't want to fuck, how'd you tell me?
Alysa:  Like this.  (opens her mouth and blasts fire at Ash's head)
Ash:  Ouch.  So does that mean you don't want to fuck?
Alysa:  Are you kidding me?  (jumps him)

(suddenly, Dr. Applby runs in)

Dr. Applby:  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?
Pikachu:  Calm down, doc.  Relax, have a BJ.  (passes him a slut)
Dr. Applby:  Thanks, but I prefer Vulpix.  (and a Vulpix walks up
                to him)  Okay, fine.  (sticks his cock in her mouth)
Brock:  Where are we going that's so damned important, anyway?
Dr. Applby:  We're going to the home of my ancestor, Dr. Applegate.
Brock:  And that's important why?
Dr. Applby:  A couple days ago I received his will stating that I'm the
                *splat* sole heir to his mansion and fortune.
Pikachu:  A mansion?!?!  Charmander, get Abra!  We're gonna be
          fuckin' rich!

The Scene:  PokŽVania, the train station

(everyone's there waiting for a train)

Bob:  So who the hell are we supposed to be meeting here?
Dr. Applby:  The executor of my will.

(a Ponyta walks up to them and nuzzles against Ash)

Ponyta:  Mmm, so, come here often?
Alysa:  Hey, get your own!
Ash:  (staring at her backside)  Uhhhhh.......
Alysa:  Hey!
Ash:  What, like we're supposed to be in a monogo-monomous-monogogo-
        I can just fuck you?
Alysa:  YES!!!
Ash:  Well, forget it!  I want some pony pussy!  (jumps the Ponyta,
        then she gets spooked and runs away...with Ash still in her)
        HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!  I WANTED A DIFFERENT KIND OF RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!
Alysa:  Serves you right!  *sigh*  Oh well, what the hell... (chases
        after him, then runs past a guy)
Pikachu:  Hey, who's that?
Man:  I'm looking for Misty (still don't know her last name, damn it!)
Misty:  Yes, that's me, what do you want?
Man:  I have something for you.  And it's right here in my pants!
Misty:  PERVERT!!!!!!!  (smashes him big-time)
Brock:  Hey, look at this.  (picks up something)  A ring fell out of
        his pants.
Misty:  Uhhh....(hides the mallet)
Mewtwo:  Hey, I recognize him!  He's Ryan Stiles, the host of that new
         game show, 'What's in my Pants?'
Misty:  Ummm....

(and a train arrives, and a guy steps off and walks up to them)

Lawyer Guy:  (walks up to the doc)  Hello, you must be Dr. Applby.
Dr. Applby:  You must be Lawyer Guy.  Nice to meet you.
Lawyer Guy:  As the executor of your great-great-great-grand uncle's
                will, I'm hereby authorized to turn over the deed and
                key to Castle Applegate.  Here you go.
Dr. Applby:  Thanks!
Lawyer Guy:  Well, I'm done here.  Hope you like your new place.

(suddenly, the Ponyta runs by with Ash still stuck in her pussy)

Ash:  SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
Lawyer Guy:  Uhhhh.....
Dr. Applby:  Don't ask.

The Scene:  Castle Applegate

Brock:  Wow, this castle rocks!
Dr. Applby:  And it's all mine!

(all of a sudden, a green-haired woman walks up to them)

Pikachu:  Hey, who's that?
Sabrina:  I'm Sabrina, Dr. Applegate's lab assistant.  Now that he's
          dead, I'm your assistant, Dr. Applby.  Here, let me get the
          door for you. (raises the giant doorknocker, then drops it,
          making a resounding *boom!*)
Dr. Applby:  What knockers!
Sabrina:  (smiles)  Why, thank you.
Dr. Applby:  Uh, I meant, um, uhh...

(the door slowly opens, and an old woman walks out)

Charmander:  And just who are you?
Mary:  (in a sinister voice)  I'm Bluddy Mary (possum screams)
        But you can call me Mary.  (possum screams)
Bob:  Uh, okay, Mary (possum screams)  Where's that coming from?
Dr. Applby:  Just what do you do here, Mary? (possum screams)
Mary:  I am the caretaker for this castle.  If you'll follow me, I can
        show you all to your rooms.

The Scene:  Inside the castle

Mewtwo:  Geez, I can't believe you didn't know about this, doc!
Dr. Applby:  I never even knew I had a great-great-great grand uncle!
Mary:  Well, your rooms are upstairs and to the right.  No fucking on
        the Persian rugs.
All:  (moan and groan)
Misty:  Hey, where's Ash?

The Scene:  Somewhere in PokŽVania

(Ash is still being carried by the Ponyta)

Ash:  PLEASE STOP!!!
Alysa:  (waves a hatchet) Yeah, stop so I can kill him!!!!!
Ash:  DON'T STOP, DON'T STOP!!!

(suddenly...)

Announcer:  It's the Poetry Man!

Poetry Man:     Sluts are nice,
                Like sugar and spice,
                but when you need a good lay,
                just a roll in the hay,
                nothing beats a Ponyta
                So let's hear it for them,
                rah rah rah!!!

(the Poetry Man leaves)

Alysa:  I never thought he'd be able to rhyme 'Ponyta'.

(and the Taco Bell dog runs in!)

Taco Bell Dog:  Yo quiero ass!!!
Alysa:  Go bug Misty, you little horndog!

(suddenly, Misty runs in, grabs the hatchet, kills the dog, and leaves)

Alysa:  In the words of Brock, that was really disturbing.

The Scene:  Dr. Applby's room, that night

Sabrina:  And this is a picture of your great-great-great-grand uncle.
          And this is your bookcase.  And this is your bed.
Dr. Applby:  Uh, thanks. (starts to get undressed)  Uh, would you mind?
Sabrina:  (staring at him)  No, go right ahead.
Dr. Applby:  Uh, I meant...
Sabrina:  Whatever.  (looks away, then the doc gets undressed and gets
          into bed)  You know, I can also help you get to sleep.
Dr. Applby:  Uh, how?
Sabrina:  Like this.  (puts him to sleep with her psychic powers)

The Scene:  Later that night...

(Dr. Applby is tossing and turning.  A storm is brewing outside.  The
picture of Dr. Applby's great-great...you know...looks like it's
staring at him.  Suddenly, Dr. Applby sits up!)

Dr. Applby:  It's alive!!!
Sabrina:  I'd rather not hear about that.
Dr. Applby:  Huh?!  Oh, it's you.  Why are you in here?
Sabrina:  You were screaming and I wanted to see if you were all right.
Dr. Applby:  Yes, I'm fine.  I was just having a nightmare.

(suddenly, soft harpsichord music comes wafting in from somewhere...)

Dr. Applby:  Do you hear that?
Sabrina:  Yes....it's coming from over there...

(Sabrina walks over to the bookcase, and the doc gets out of bed,
realizes he's nude, and grabs a robe.  Then he goes over to the
bookcase and puts an ear to it.)

Dr. Applby:  It is coming from the bookcase!  Here, hand me that candle
                will you?

(Sabrina takes a candle from the holder, then the bookcase swings a
full 180 degrees)

Dr. Applby:  PUT....THE CANDLE...BACK!!!

(she puts the candle back in the holder, and the bookcase swings around
360 degrees, still trapping the doc)

Dr. Applby:  OKAY!  I THINK I'VE GOT IT FIGURED OUT!  REMOVE THE
                CANDLE, THEN I'LL BLOCK THE BOOKCASE WITH MY BODY!

(Sabrina takes the candle, the bookcase swings around, and before it
can trap him again, the doc moves between the bookcase and the wall.
And now he's a squished doc.)

Dr. Applby:  (in a muffled voice)  Now...listen very carefully...
                Don't put the candle back...go to the other end of the
                bookcase and push as hard as you can.  Understand?
Sabrina:  Sure, just a sec.

(Sabrina pushes against the other end of the bookcase, then it swings
around and leaves Dr. Applby back in the bedroom.  Sabrina isn't
around, though...)

Dr. Applby:  Ah, thank you!  (looks around)  Sabrina?
Sabrina:  PUT...THE CANDLE...BACK!!!

(the doc reaches for the candle, thinks for a second, then puts it
back and takes it back out, making the bookcase turn 90 degrees,
revealing a passageway)

Dr. Applby:  Now what could this be?
Sabrina:  The music's stronger down here.

(the doc brings along the candle, and they walk down the passage.  They
come to a door and they find it's unlocked)

The Scene:  The Inner Sanctum

(they walk in and find a room filled with books)

Dr. Applby:  This must be Dr. Applegate's private library!  Look, an
                original copy of 'Proctology for Dummies'!
Sabrina:  Your great-etc. was a proctologist?
Dr. Applby:  No, he was an ass man.  (picks up another book)  Wow,
                look at this!  'Secrets of Brain Transfers', now this
                is good reading!  (sits down and starts reading)
Sabrina:  Will you be needing anything else, doctor?
Dr. Applby:  Yes, could you please fix me a pot of tea, then go to bed.
Sabrina:  Yes, doctor.  (walks off)

The Scene:  Even later that night...

Dr. Applby:  (pouring over the book)  (reading really fast)  (about
                to finish...) YES!!  IT COULD WORK!!!  IT! COULD! WORK!

The Scene:  The Dining Room, the next morning

(everyone but Ash and Alysa are there, sitting at the table.

Mewtwo:  So what's the deal, doc?
Dr. Applby:  I've gathered you all here because I've discovered some
                material in my great-etc. library.
Pikachu:  (jumps on the table) Porno mags?!?!?!
Mary:  (smacks Pikachu off the table)  No rodents on the table.
Dr. Applby:  It's not porn, it's my grand uncle's work.  He specialized
                in brain surgery, and was very skilled for his time.
                I found a book of his life's work, which was the
                attempt to put a person's brain in a completely
                different body.  I think it could work.
Bob:  So what're you gonna do about it?
Dr. Applby:  I'm gonna try it.
Abra:  But doc, what about my boys?
Misty:  Yeah, what about his...(stares at Abra)  Your 'boys'?
Abra:  I'm in pain, woman!
Misty:  NOT AS MUCH AS YOU'RE GONNA BE IF YOU KEEP CALLING ME 'WOMAN'!!
Pikachu:  Watching you guys is better than Celebrity Deathmatch!!
Mewtwo:  Could we get back to the brain thing, please?
Dr. Applby:  Right.  Well, all I need for the experiment is a human
                brain and a dead body, and there was a hanging here
                yesterday, so we can go to the cemetary tonight.
Bob:  What about the brain?
Dr. Applby:  Unfortunately, there's no brains in town.
Pikachu:  We can use the bitch!
Misty:  (yanks out a mallet) WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?!?!?!?!?!
Pikachu:  Not that bitch!  (shocks Brock unconcious)  Problem solved.

The Scene:  The Town Hall

Person:  We must do something about the new Applegate!
Mayor:  Actually, his name is Applby.
Person:  Shut up, fat boy!  Ooops.....
Mayor:  Hang him.
Policeman:  Yes, sir!  (hauls him off)
Mayor:  Regardless, we've got to do something about Dr. Applby.
Chief:  Sir, I'll go and talk to him, see what he plans to do while
        he's here.
Mayor:  Good, go do that.  Now, someone get me my personal trainer!
        I want a crueller!

The Scene:  The Cemetary, that night

Bob:  Exactly why am I here?
Dr. Applby:  You're the only one besides Ash who's strong enough to
                help me with the casket.
Bob:  Where *is* Ash, anyway?

(and suddenly, Ash comes riding past!  The Ponyta suddenly stops, then
bucks and throws him off and into the grave, then runs off)

Ash:  Uuuurrhrhghgurrrrghhhh....  (looks around)  AAAAHHHHH  I'M DEAD!!
Bob:  You're not dead, you're just weird.
Dr. Applby:  Here, get out of there.  (helps him out)  Where's Alysa?
Ash:  Who?
Alysa:  YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!
Ash:  WHOA!!!  (dives back into the grave)
Bob:  Hey, get outta there, we need to get that dead body!
Ash:  What...dead body?  (looks down)  AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Ash leaps out of the grave, Alysa smacks him, and Bob and the doc
get the casket out of the grave.  After Alysa is done, they all help
move the casket to the wagon)

Bob:  Geez, digging up a dead body in the middle of the night......
                What could be worse?
Ash:  Well, it could be raining.

*crack!*  *boom!*  *drip!*

Dr. Applby:  You just *had* to say it, didn't you?
Ash:  Well, at least it can't get any worse.

(and the wagon tips over!)

Bob:  JUST SHUT THE HELL UP, WOULDJA?!?!?!?!?!

The Scene:  The Laboratory

(Brock's on one table, the dead body is on the other.  The dead body
is like Frankenstein, big and stupid-looking.  Everyone but Abra and
Misty are there, and there's a storm a'brewin' outside.)

Dr. Applby:  Okay!  Sabrina, is everything ready?
Sabrina:  Ready, doctor!
Dr. Applby:  Mary, (possum screams) got the snacks?
Mary:  Yes, doctor.  (passes out little bags of peanuts)
Pikachu:  (holds up big foam #1 hand)  Go Red Sox!
Charmander:  What?!
Pikachu:  Never mind.
Flareon:  So, what happens next?
Dr. Applby:  Since Dr. Applegate never paid his power bill, we'll use
                the power of the storm to power the equipment, then
                I'll perform the operation to transfer the brain
                pathways from Brock's brain into this guy, and bring
                him back to life!!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Mewtwo:  You're a tad stressed, aren't you, doc?
Dr. Applby:  Uh, yeah, sorry.  Sabrina, raise the platforms!!!

(Sabrina pulls a switch, and the two platforms [and the doc] raise
through a hole in the roof to above the castle.  The storm intensifies,
and lightning strikes a power generator, then the machines inside the
castle power up!!!)

Pikachu:  Whoa!!  Cool!!
Dr. Applby:  Sabrina!  Throw the first switch!
Sabrina:  Aye, aye!  (throws the first switch!)

(the lightning gets stronger, and a bolt hits each of the bodies)

Dr. Applby:  Throw the second switch!
Sabrina:  Okay!  (throws the second switch!)
Dr. Applby:  Throw the third switch!!!
Sabrina:  No!  Not the THIRD SWITCH!!!!
Dr. Applby:  Why, what's wrong with the third switch?
Sabrina:  Nothing, never mind.  (throws the third switch)

*crack!*  *boom!*  *drip!*  *SPLAT!*

Charmander:  Can't you go two minutes without fucking something?
Pikachu:  Nope!
Dr. Applby:  (to Sabrina)  Lower the platforms!

(the platforms go back down and everyone watches eagerly for something
to start moving)

Dr. Applby:  Well, let's just see here.  (he puts an ear to the
                monster's chest and listens for a heartbeat.  After a
                little while, he moves away.)  Oh, well.  Failure is
                an inevitable occurance in medicine.  We must learn to
                accept it with quiet dignity...and grace.

(they all slowly walk away, then the doc runs back and starts pounding
on the monster's chest)

Dr. Applby:  YOU SONOFABITCH YOU RUINED ME YOU RAT BASTARD I'LL KILL
                YOU WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME YOU SHIT?!?!?!?!
Mewtwo:  Doctor, control yourself!
Bob:  Yeah, it's not the end of the world!

(Bob and Mewtwo pull him away, then he calms down)

Dr. Applby:  Right.  Okay.  I'm fine.
Monster:  Uurrrghhh.......
All:  Huh?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Dr. Applby:  YES!!!!  It was a success!!!!  (walks over to the monster)
                Now, he may not be able to speak at first...
Monster:  SONOFABITCH!!!!!  (sits up and strangles the doc)
Dr. Applby:  (choked voice)  I could be wrong, though!!!
Mewtwo:  Whoa!!  (pulls on the doc)  Could somebody help, please?!?!
Sabrina:  Right, just a sec.  (mentally freezes the monster)
Dr. Applby:  Ah!  Geez, wait a little longer, why don'cha?!?!
Pikachu:  Come on, I wanted to see some strangulation!
Monster:  (in Brock's voice) WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!?!
Pikachu:  Whoa, the bitch is back!!!
Monster:  STOP CALLING ME BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
Charmander:  Sir, I think at this point, you should hold off on the
                'bitch' thing...
Pikachu:  Why?
Flareon:  Well, for one thing, he's about six-foot seven and 240 lbs.
Pikachu:  Oh...........right.  Is he secure?
Sabrina:  Plenty secure.
Pikachu:  Good...I'll be going now.  (leaves)
Brock:  (he's now a monster, but with the same name)  What the hell did
        you do to me, you bastard?!?!?!?!
Dr. Applby:  Well, I transferred your brain patterns into this guy's
                brain, and I guess it worked.
Brock:  YOU 'GUESS'?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Dr. Applby:  Okay, I 'know' it works.  (whispering to Mewtwo and Bob)
                Help me tie him down.
Bob:  (whispering back) Right.  (sneaks away to get some rope)
Mewtwo:  So, how're you feeling, Brock?
Brock:  Like shit.  Everything's all out of proportion!  Hell, my hands
        are like, three times bigger!  Wait a minute...(looks down his
        pants)  THANK YOU, GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Applby:  Hey, I'm the one who dug up the body!!
Bob:  (whispers to the doc)  I've got the rope.  If you can distract
        him, I can tie him down.
Mewtwo:  Got it covered!  (to Joy)  Why don't you try that thing on
         for size, babe?
Joy:  Yes, sir!  (moves toward Brock...)
Brock:  WOO-HOO!!!

(Joy gets really close, then Bob and Mewtwo jump into action and tie
him up!  Well, actually, they rope him down above the waist.  Now he's
got this major schlong sticking into the air...and Joy's staring at it)

Mewtwo:  Hey, come on, you're my slut!
Joy:  Just getting ready for you, my prince!  (jumps him)
Brock:  (still hard and depraved)  WHY ME?!?!?!?!?!

The Scene:  Police Station

Chief:  Lieutenant, are you willing to accept this dangerous and
        possibly life-threatening mission?
Lt. Hans:  Not on your life.
Chief:  Well, do it anyway, bitch!!!
Lt. Hans:  I thought you only called me bitch in the bedroom, chief...
Chief:  Ummmm.....just go to Castle Applegate and figure out what's
        going on, okay?
Lt. Hans:  Fine...  (moons him before leaving)
Chief:  Hey, I thought you said you shaved your ass!


To Be Continued!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I just had to end it there, although why I would end it with that kind
of line, I don't know.  I'm trying to compact this thing into a two-
parter, although with the way things are going, it might stretch into
three parts.  Oh well, let's just get to the part where I tell you
what happens on the next carp-filled episode of:

PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!

Brock experiences life as a monster!
The townspeople get mad at Dr. Applby!!
Misty and Abra are finally ready to fuck!!!
Ash and Alysa discuss their current 'arrangements'!
They forget about that and fuck their brains out!!!
I explain why Sabrina was Dr. Applegate's assistant
and is still so young!

It's monster season on the next episode of:

PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


The Master of Eternal Darkness,

Shadow