PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu!

Okay, if you'll recall, this is a story about a cross between Star Trek
and pokŽmon. Last time, Ash, Misty, and Brock got transported to the
future on the U.P.S. Rapidash, and got introduced to the ways of the 
future. If you'll remember, in the last episode, you couldn't 
understand any of the pokŽmon, and in this episode, only some pokŽmon
speak english. This is because not all pokŽmon were meant to be 
understood. For those of you who are wondering, the Taco Bell dog will
*not* be returning in this episode. Also, we finally come to the issue
of measuring distance. Unlike Star Trek, I won't be doing any of that 
metric shit. I was born into the American Standard, and I'll fucking 
die by the American Standard! Now that that's settled, the second 
episode of...PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu!

Episode II: The Return of Team Rocket!

PokŽdate: 30530.02

Location: The Brion cluster

The Scene: The Bridge


Pikachu: Hey, bitch, where's my slut?
Brock: Stop calling me bitch! And I don't know where she is, goddamn
it, so stop fucking asking me!
Pikachu: I'll call you whatever the fuck I want, bitch.
Ash: (whispering) Hey Brock, weren't you fucking a pikachu in the 
captain's ready room?
Brock: Shut the fuck up! I didn't even get to cum in her!

(Dr. Applby walks onto the bridge)

Dr. Applby: Hey, Ash and Brock, come with me.
Ash: Where are we going?
Dr. Applby: Well, you've been here a week, and you still need to pick
out your personal sluts. (to Brock) You can't keep
fucking the captain's slut, you know.
Brock: Shut up!
Pikachu: I fucking knew it! (shocks the shit out of Brock) And don't
fucking touch her again, bitch!

(Ash, Brock and Dr. Applby get in the elevator, and Misty walks onto 
the bridge)

Pikachu: Hey, cunt, why don't you come on over and fuck me?
Misty: Why don't you go fuck yourself?
Pikachu: Because that's not as much fun. Come on, one blowjob!
Misty: (pulls out hedge clippers) How'd you like to be neutered?
Pikachu: Well, you're no fun!

The Scene: Vulpix Storage

(This room is filled with at least a hundred Vulpix, most of them 
female, some of them male, and lots of them fucking.)

Dr. Applby: Okay, everyone on the ship is assigned a personal slut if
they want one. If you want, you can pick something 
other than a Vulpix, but most people prefer them.

(Ash looks at the rows and rows of Vulpix and starts freaking out)

Ash: Brock... (grabs Brock's vest) DAMMIT BROCK, I CAN'T CHOOSE!! 
THERE'S TOO FUCKING MANY!!! GODDAMN IT, THEY ALL LOOK 
THE SAME!!!!
Brock: Jesus, what's with you?
Ash: I don't know...it's been a week since Misty and I last fucked...
ever since she met that damn Machoke...
Dr. Applby: Oh, hell, why don't you have a freebie? Hey, Vulpix!
(Every Vulpix looks at him) No, that one! (points to
one, then she walks over to him) Vulpix, go ahead and
blow him...relieve his tensions.
Vulpix: Vuplix!

The little fox pokŽmon licked Ash's cock a few times, then when it
hardened, she took it in her mouth and started sucking.

Brock: Hey, what about me?
Dr. Applby: (Takes out a picture) Follow the tits.
Brock: Mmmm....tits....

(After a few minutes, Ash takes his cock out of the Vulpix's mouth, and
sprays his cum all over her fir. Vulpix proceeds to barbeque his head.)

Ash: Ouch.
Brock: Do they all do that?
Dr. Applby: No, not really. Actually, you're not supposed to cum ON
them until you pick them.
Ash: Thanks for the info (cough). I'm going back to the bridge.
Dr. Applby: Okay, but remember, if you don't pick a slut by the end of
the day, you'll have to wait another week. We can't 
have people just walking around, grabbing sluts, now
can we?

Brock: Tits....mmmm....

Dr. Applby: Stop watching the tits!

The Scene: The Bridge

Pikachu: Hey, lieutenant Charmander, get Admiral Mewtwo for me.
Charmander: Aye aye!
Pikachu: Where the hell's my slut?!

(The viewscreen flashes, and Admiral Mewtwo appears. Nurse Joy is 
bent over his desk getting fucked from behind.)

Mewtwo: Hey, what the fuck?! Don't ever interrupt an admiral when 
he's fucking a human! They're very sensitive, ya know!
Pikachu: Sorry, sir, but I need to know our mission.
Mewtwo: Yeah, yeah, just a sec.

(Ash walks onto the bridge)

Ash: Nurse Joy?!?!
Mewtwo: Who's that? Oh, yeah, the human from the past. Actually, 
this is Nurse Joy's great-great-great-great-great-great grand-
daughter's second cousin, twice removed, and let me say, she's 
certainly a 'joy!'
Ash: Real fucking funny.
Mewtwo: Let me guess, that bitch that you were with hasn't fucked you
in a while, huh? Well, better pick out a slut. You know, if
you special-order them, you can get a human slut, but they 
cost a mint! Anyway, Pikachu... (presses a button on his 
desk) Your mission is to locate a stray Rocket ship that's
somewhere near your position. Bring it back intact if 
possible, destroy it if necessary. And don't get trigger 
happy! Remember, Weezings are worth a lot these days. 
Oh, yeah, Pikachu, check this out! (bounces Nurse Joy's tits) 
Boungy, boungy, boungy, boungy! 
Hah! They work on so many levels!

(The viewscreen goes black)

Ash: Rocket? Like Team Rocket?
Misty: Yeah, it's Team Rocket! Where were you when Pikachu was 
briefing us about them?
Ash: Ummmm...nowhere...(he was jerking off) I was just looking 
around the ship...(jerking off) And I was meeting the people. 
(jerking off in public)
Misty: Yeah, right. I'll bet you were jerking off.
Ash: I was not! (he was SO jerking off!)
Misty: (Drops her shorts) You miss this puss, huh?
Ash: (Charges at Misty) PUSSY!!! (Shoves his dick up her cunt and
starts fucking her)
Misty: Get the fuck off me, you stupid...(moan) Get off me!

(Machoke walks onto the bridge)

Machoke: Machoke...machoke!

(starts jerking off in front of Misty, then blows his load on her face)

Misty: Machoke, not now! And Ash...(moans loudly)
Pikachu: Hey, cunt, keep it down! Some people have a job to do here!
WHERE'S MY SLUT?!?! I NEED TO BE BLOWN, OR I'LL BLOW UP 
THIS SHIP!!!

(a female pikachu walks onto the bridge and climbs on Pikachu's cock)

Pikachu: Finally! Hey, charmander, have you found that Rocket ship 
yet?
Charmander: Yeah, it's five light-years away.
Pikachu: Great, take us to Pidgeot factor 4.
Charmander: Aye aye.

Ash: So, Misty, I guess that Machoke doesn't mind sharing.
Misty: Yeah, but I do, so get the fuck out of my cunt!

(takes his dick out and shoves it up her ass)

Misty: OUCH! That wasn't what I meant, and you know it!
Ash: One second! (cums in her ass, then pulls out) Okay, I'm done!
Misty: Yeah, but I'm not! (pulls out a flamethrower) I'm gonna burn
your dick off, Ash Ketchum!

(Misty chases Ash around the bridge, and Machoke goes back to work)

Pikachu: Hah! This is better than a cage match! Hey, Charmander, 
how far are we from the Rocket ship?
Charmander: About 500,000 miles.
Pikachu: Slow to impulse. (Borrowed from Star Trek) Hail them.

(An image of Jessie and James flashes on the screen)

Ash: Holy shit, those two!

Jessie: To protect the World from Devastation!
James: To Unite all Peoples within our Nation!
Jessie: To Denounce the Evils of Truth and Love!
James: To Extend our reach to the Stars Above!
Jessie!
James!
Jessie: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!
James: Surrender now or Prepare to Fight!

Pikachu: Shut the fuck up, shitheads.
Jessie: Pipe down, you fucking rodent! Hey, wait a minute...is that..
James: It's Ash! Ash Ketchum, from the past!
Ash: How'd you two fuck-ups get here?
Pikachu: The Team Rocket of the future brought them back, since the 
records show they were a couple of great agents for them.
Ash: Who does your records? These two fucked up every scheme they 
ever tried!
Pikachu: I never said the Team Rocket of the future was any smarter,
dipshit!
James: (Sees Misty) Ooooo!! It's the bitch! Hey, Pikachu, surrender
the cunt, and we'll go easy on you!
Pikachu: Sorry, assholes, she's mine! Machoke!
Machoke: Machoke?
Pikachu: Engage the Rhydon beam!

(A beam of light hits the Rocket ship and pulls them toward the 
Rapidash. The Rocket ship responds by firing their weapons and jerking
off on the viewscreen.)

Pikachu: Raise shields! Fire the phasers! Go faster!
Ash: Go faster?
Pikachu: Go faster, slut!
Ash: Oh.
Charmander: Uh, sir, shouldn't you concentrate on the battle?
Misty: Hey, fuck him, James is gonna die! I'm going to kill that son 
of a bitch! No one calls me a cunt and gets away with it! Is 
there an Abra onboard?
Charmander: Yeah, sure, go down to level 14.

(Misty walks into the elevator and Pikachu puts on a very nice show for
the crew and Team Rocket. They respond by mooning the Rapidash.)

The Scene: Level 14, somewhere around there.

Misty: Hey, Abra!
Abra: What is it, bitch?
Misty: (Takes out a mallet and smacks the hell out of the Abra.)
Don't call me bitch! You can teleport, right?
Abra: Yeah, sure.
Misty: Then take me over to the Rocket ship, now!
Abra: Hey, I can't do that unless the captain says it's all right.
Misty: Okay, then how about this? You take me over there, and when we
get back, you can fuck me.
Abra: Fuck yeah!!! I need a change of pace from my vulpix.

(Abra takes Misty's arm and disappears in a flash of light, then 
reappears on the Rocket's bridge)

James: Hey, it's the bitch!
Misty: (pulls out a various array of weapons) OKAY, THAT'S IT!!!
NO ONE CALLS ME A BITCH AND LIVES, YOU FUCKING JERK-OFF!!!!

(Misty proceeds to destroy the bridge and fuck a Starmie, then goes on
a rampage across the ship, leaving Abra alone with Jessie.)

Abra: So, meet anyone in the future?
Jessie: Not yet.
Abra: Fucking anyone?
Jessie: Well, James, but he's too fucking small.
Abra: Why don't you try me on for size? (jumps Jessie and fucks her
for three seconds, cums and falls asleep)
Jessie: Damn it! Oh well, at least I came.

(Misty comes back on the bridge holding a severed foot in one hand and
a switchblade knife in the other. Scary, huh?)

Misty: Hey! Get the fuck off her!

(grabs Abra and they teleport back to the Rapidash)

Abra: Hey, where'd you get the foot?
Misty: Trust me, you don't want to know!

The Scene: The Bridge of the Rapidash

Pikachu: Oh, yeah, fuck it, bitch! Faster, come on, fuck!
Ash: You know, as much fun as this is, shouldn't you shoot that ship
with whatever weapons you have?
Pikachu: Shut yer hole, asswipe! Charmander! You know what to do!
Charmander: Yeah, sure, whatever.

(the Rapidash fires their weapons at the Rocket ship, blowing it to 
pieces. The last thing anyone hears is

Jessie & James: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!)

Abra: Now, about that deal we had...
Misty: I'm not so sure now...you only lasted three seconds with 
Jessie.
Abra: Yeah, the first time's always fast. The second time I can last
for three hours, minimum.
Misty: Three hours? How big are you?
Abra: Eight inches.
Misty: Great! Just let me go break up with Machoke.
Abra: Whatever.

(Admiral Mewtwo appears on the viewscreen, then Pikachu and the female
pikachu stop fucking.)

Mewtwo: Hey, Pikachu...oh, did I interrupt you?
Pikachu: No, sir, I was just about done anyway.
Mewtwo: Yeah, sure. Anyway, what about Team Rocket?
Pikachu: We destroyed their ship, but Jessie and James survived.
Mewtwo: Yeah, I kinda figured. Anyway, you're done for now, so 
happy fucking!

(viewscreen goes black and Dr. Applby walks onto the bridge)

Dr. Applby: Hey, Ash, you still need to pick out a Vulpix.
Ash: Right, let's go.

The Scene: Vulpix Storage

Dr. Applby: So, which is it going to be?
Ash: (freaks out again) I DON'T KNOW!!! THERE'S TOO DAMN MANY!!!
(calms down) Hey, where's Brock?

Dr. Applby: Somewhere on the bridge, watching the tits.
Ash: Well, I still can't pick.

(A human officer walks into the room)

Dr. Applby: Ah, lieutenant Roberts, welcome aboard!
Bob: Thanks, doc. (to Ash) Hey, kid.
Dr. Applby: Oh, Ash, let me introduce lieutenant Roberts, our newest
human recruit.
Bob: You can call me Bob. (Looks at the Vulpix) Hey, great, this 
ship comes with Vuplix! (looks at the rows of Vulpix, then
points one out) I want that one.
Ash: How the hell can you tell them apart?
Bob: I used to raise Vulpix, and I fucked each and every one I raised.
Hey, you're from the past, right?
Ash: Yeah. I still can't pick a vulpix.
Bob: Here, let me. (looks him over, then picks out a vulpix.) 
Listen, don't worry, if you don't like her, you can return her
and pick a new one.
Ash: Well, that's convenient. (The vulpix torches his face) Ouch.
Bob: Yeah, you gotta be careful with them. (Yakko, Wakko, and Dot run
through the room, then the fat cop chases them with a rocket
launcher.)
Ash: That...was weird.
Dr. Applby: Not really. They're on a contract to run through here 
every five days. Unfortunately, they keep stealing my pictures
of tits. Damn horny monkey kids.

The Scene: The Bridge

(Pikachu's fucking his slut, Misty's fucking Abra, Machoke's fucking
Ensign Oddish, and Brock is jerking off in a corner to the tits.)

Charmander: Am I the only one who's actually concerned for the 
welfare of the ship?!
All: FUCK YES!!!
Charmander: Fine, then I'll just fuck the next thing that walks onto
the bridge, and if we all crash and die, I won't be
responsible!

(A female Grimer walks onto the bridge)

Charmander: Okay, fine, I'll just do my fucking job! (muttering)
Damn fuck-heads.

(Two female pikachu's come onto the bridge and lick each other)

Pikachu: Whoa! Houston, we have lesbians!
Brock: Hurray!

(Yakko, Wakko, and Dot run around the bridge, and are chased by the fat
cop and Dr. Applby.)

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot: (Singing) We are Ani-man-iacs!
Dr. Applby: You kids give me back my tits!

The End! To be continued, of course.


On the next PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu!

Misty's relationship with Abra!
Pikachu gets more sluts!
Ash fucks a vulpix for the first time!
Bob steals a nuclear weapon!
Brock gets laid! (Yeah, right!)
The return of the Taco Bell dog!!!

All this and more on the next episode of:

PokŽmon: The Next Pikachu!