Here we go, the next episode of Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! Now, this
particular episode is a flashback to six days ago, when the Rapidash
had that wild party that everybody kept talking about last episode.
Keep in mind that everything that happens here happened before what
happened in the last episode, but after the last-last episode, but...
DAMN IT, I HATE WRITING THIS TEMPORAL SHIT!!! [switches to decaf]
Just check the Pokédate on this episode to figure out when this episode
takes place. By the way, I said in last episode that this one would be
about that party that took place nine days ago, but I miscounted, and
it's actually six days (like any of you really care.) Okay, without
further ado, this episode!!!
Today's guest stars are Alex and Luna from Lunar: TSS, the Animaniacs,
Lunar Knight, Yanni, Meowth, Maliduna, and Bill Clinton!
(By the way, I blew the whole budget for this episode on guest stars,
so don't blame me if the special effects suck.)
Episode VI: One Wild Party
Pokédate: 30614.01
Location: Somewhere, I don't know
The Scene: The Bridge
(everybody's basically doing their jobs, Bob is asleep, and Brock
is huddled in a corner with a picture of tits.)
Brock: I wish I could get laid...
Pikachu: Yeah? And just who would fuck a bitch like you?
Brock: (screaming) STOP CALLING ME A BITCH!!!
Pikachu: Hey, you're lucky I keep you on this ship, bitch! You don't
get laid, and you can't help run it, so you're fucking
useless!
Brock: FUCK YOU!!! (quieter) I'm going to Ten-Forward.
Pikachu: Damn horny weirdo fuckhead...
(Ash and Misty walk onto the bridge, and Brock walks off)
Ash: Hey, is there some kind of party going on here?
Misty: Yeah, we saw a bunch of people putting up decorations in Ten-
Forward.
Charmander: Didn't anyone tell you? We're having the annual party in
honor of the first launching of the U.P.S. Rapidash.
Ash: Really? A party? Is it going to be formal?
Pikachu: Fuck formal, you could show up with a hard-on and no pants
(remember?) and still get in! There's gonna be fucking in
every corner, and everybody's invited!
Misty: Excellent!
The Scene: Ten-Forward
(Everybody is getting ready for the party when Brock walks in and
starts wandering around. Suddenly, another Brock walks in through the
other entrance. Until there's only one Brock left, the one from the
past will be refered to as Brock #1 and the one from the future as
Brock #2. Trust me, it'll be confusing as hell!)
Brock #1: What the hell?!?!?!?!
Brock #2: Huh? Damn it, Bob must have sent me back here!
Brock #1: Wha...what...huh?
Brock #2: Hey, come with me, and I'll explain everything, okay?
Brock #1: O...kay...
(they both walk out, and everyone keeps on working on the decorations)
The Scene: Level 9, area 14b
Brock #2: Okay, here's what happened: Bob offered me a chance to go
back to Earth, but I wanted to go back to the Earth in
the past so I could continue being a pokémon breeder.
Bob used some kind of time machine to send me back, but
unfortunately, he fouled it up somehow and sent me
here. Anyway, I have a plan to make all of this right
again.
Brock #1: Yeah? What?
Brock #2: I'll kill you and take your place.
Brock #1: What?!?!?!
Brock #2: Hey, don't worry, you wouldn't have gotten laid between now
and the future, anyway. However, I might have better
luck, since I already know what happened at that party.
Anyway, see you in hell, you wanna-be jerk-off!
(Brock #2 throws Brock #1 into an airlock, then presses a few buttons,
then Brock #1 [this is getting irritating, isn't it?] gets sucked out
into space, gasps for breath, then asphyxiates. [bet you can't spell
that] Then Brock #2 walks away as calmly as possible.)
The Scene: Ten-Forward, three hours later
(The party is in full-swing, and everybody's there. Misty and Abra are
fucking, Bob is showing off his nuclear weapon to a couple human women,
Ash is sitting on a couch with his Vulpix, nervously looking at her,
Pikachu is sitting at the bar with three female Pikachus, and Dr. Applby
is standing at the entrance, showing people his pictures of tits.)
Misty: Damn, this is a great party!
Abra: Hey, can you excuse me for a few minutes?
Misty: Huh? Why?
Abra: I just need to get something to stay awake.
(Abra gets up and walks away, and Misty starts fingering herself.
Suddenly, there's a flash of light, and Alex appears near the entrance.)
Alex: Hey, what the hell? Oh, shit, I'm in the lemon!!!
Ash: (overhears him) Huh? What lemon?
Alex: Ash?!?!?! This is fucking confusing! Hey, wait a minute,
where's Dr. Applby?
Ash: He's over there, why? Wait a minute, who the hell are you?!
(Alex runs over to Doc Applby and grabs his coat)
Alex: Dammit, doc, I've gotta have some tits!! Give me a picture,
a video, a saline bag, anything!
Dr. Applby: Yeah, sure, hold on. (under his breath) Damn horny kids.
(Suddenly, the Animaniacs run into Ten-Forward and grab all of the
doctor's pictures.)
Yakko: Thanks, doc!
Wakko: We won't get them too dirty!
Dot: Why don't you guys ever look at my tits?
Yakko: Because you don't have any!
Dr. Applby: Damn it, you kids give me back my fucking pictures!
Alex: (runs after them) Come on, let me look at the tits!!!
(another flash of light, and Luna appears, holding the Sword of Althena,
then walks over to Pikachu)
Luna: Hey, have you seen Alex anywhere?
Pikachu: Whoa, it's a bitch with a sword!!
Luna: (holding the sword above her head) WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?!?!?
Pikachu: (in fear for his very life) Nothing, ma'am.......
Luna: Now, where's Alex?!
Pikachu: I think I saw him chasing the Animaniacs. (Alex runs by)
Yep, there he goes.
Luna: (chases Alex) Damn it, Alex, get back here!!!
(Brock walks in)
Brock: Well, everything looks normal...(Alex and Luna run by) Okay,
that wasn't normal...(a Vulpix walks up to him)
Vulpix: Vulpix, vulpix!
Brock: YES!!! PUSSY!!!
(grabs the vulpix and starts fucking her)
Pikachu: Finally, that stupid fuck's getting laid!
(Abra walks back to Misty and they start fucking)
Misty: Where the hell were you?! I've had to get myself off for the
first time since I got here!
Abra: Sorry, these parties usually last for a while, and I just took
a couple of pills to help me stay awake.
Misty: Drugs?
Abra: No, not drugs. They're Dr. Applby perscribed. Take two with a
pair of tits and call him in the morning. (suddenly) Es queiro
por a vagina así injusto? (is want for a pussy so wrong?)
Misty: Huh? WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING SPANISH?!?!
(By the way, I'm pretty sure I got a few words wrong, since, like
english, spanish words have more than one meaning.)
(the Taco Bell's Dog floats out of Abra's body)
Misty: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!
Taco Bell Dog's Spirit: Hola, enojado perra! (hello, angry bitch!)
Misty: STOP WITH THE FUCKING SPANISH!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!!
Taco Bell Dog's Spirit: If you can't take the spanish, then spread
your legs, bitch!
Misty: What the fuck!??! That's it, you're gonna die!!!
Taco Bell Dog's Spirit: Already dead, bitch!
Misty: THEN I'M ABOUT TO PERFORM AN EXORCISM!!!
(Misty chases the ghost with a cross and holy water. A delivery guy
comes in with a big package and takes it to Pikachu)
Delivery Guy: Yeah, I've got a package here for a Captain Pikachu from
Admiral Mewtwo.
Pikachu: Great! I'll sign for it!
(signs for it, then the guy leaves)
Alex: TITS TITS TITS TITS TITS TITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luna: (swings the sword around, slightly injuring some people) Alex,
you get the fuck back here before I chop your dick off!
(Yakko and Wakko cum on the floor, then Alex and Luna slip on it)
Luna: Eeww!! Monkey kid cum!
Yakko: It's full of protein!
Wakko: And it's got wholesome fiber!
Dot: Here, try some of mine!
(throws a bucket of juice on Alex and Luna)
Alex: Dammit, I just want some tits!!!
Luna: Alex, if you don't knock it off, I'm gonna...
Yakko: Suck him off?
Wakko: Tie him up?
Dot: Make him listen to Yanni?
Yanni: Concert time?
Animaniacs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! (they smash him with mallets)
(they run off, and Lunar Knight appears and drags Alex and Luna
out of the room)
Lunar Knight: Damn it, you guys are supposed to be MSTing this thing,
not guest-starring in it!
Alex: Hey, blame Shadow! He's the one that put us here!
Lunar Knight: (muttering) Damn fucking lemon writers...can't leave my
fucking MST cast alone...
(the Animaniacs run over to them)
Yakko: Hey kid, you want some tits?
Alex: TITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wakko: Here you go! (hands him a picture)
Alex: Couldn't you at least clean the cum off it?!
(they leave, Alex cleans off the picture and
Luna beats the shit out of him.
Pikachu: Hey, didn't the admiral tell us not to open this box?
Female Pikachu: Pika, pi.
Pikachu: Yep, he did say that, but he wouldn't have delivered it now
if he didn't want us to open it! (runs to the box and
crashes into it, causing it to open) Cool! Wonder what's
inside!
(Two Eevees jump out and start licking each other)
Pikachu: YES!!! LEZBO EEVEES!!!
(Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny pop out and start fucking each other)
All: (do you, uh,) YAHOO! (and that was my lame impression of the
Yahoo! commercials.)
Brock: All my life, I've dreamed of this moment...(blows his load in
the vulpix) WAHOO! I'M NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE!!! (One of the
Eevees walks up to him and rubs up against him) YES!!! MORE
PUSSY TO FUCK!!! (starts fucking the Eevee)
Pikachu: Hey, the bitch is on a roll! (turns to Jenny) Come on,
officer, you can teach me the difference between right and
wrong! (Pikachu and Jenny duck under a table, and Bob starts
a three-way between him and the human women.)
Bob: Damn it, this is the best party in the universe!!!
Pikachu: Damn straight!
(Misty traps the Taco Bell dog's spirit in a corner)
Misty: That's as far as you go, you fucking rodent!
Taco Bell Dog's Spirit: Nope, that's as far as I go without fucking
you! (jumps Misty and starts fucking her)
Misty: Get the fuck out of my cunt, you fucking ghost!!!
Joy: Are you getting raped by a ghost, dear?
Misty: Nurse Joy?!?!?! Yes, I'm getting raped! Get this fuckhead off
me!
Joy: Sorry, I'm horny too, you little cunt. (starts licking Misty)
Misty: Damn it!
(Abra wakes up, then goes straight to the bar)
Abra: Give me every kind of alchohol you got back there.
Meowth: Okay, but if your head explodes, I'm not responsible.
Misty: Damn it, that's fucking it!!!
(Misty beats the spiritual shit out of the Taco Bell dog, then she and
Nurse Joy start licking each other)
Pikachu: Yes!!! Finally, I get to see that cunt in action!
Ash: (looks at his vulpix) So...um...Ah, fuck it! (starts fucking
her fast and hard)
(This pretty much continues for another hour, then Team Rocket bursts
in, carrying guns)
Rocket: All right, hand over your sluts, and (sees Misty and Joy)
Yes! We hit the motherload!
Pikachu: Get the fuck out of here, you stupid fucks! This is a
private party!
Rocket: Then why isn't there a bouncer at the door, huh!
Pikachu: Hey, doc, these guys are trying to crash!
Dr. Applby: Okay, relax...(takes out a picture) Watch the tits!
Rockets: Ooooo....tits.....
Dr. Applby: Now, keep watching the tits. (walks out of the room with
the tits, and the Rockets follow)
The Scene: Level 9, area 14b
Dr. Applby: Keep watching the tits.
Rockets: Tits.......................(jerking off)
Dr. Applby: Now....(throws the picture into the airlock)
Go get the tits!
Rockets: (dives into the airlock after the tits) TITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Dr. Applby moons them, then sends the Rockets into space and goes
back to the party)
The Scene: Ten-Forward
(Misty is torturing the dog's spirit by kicking it in the balls and
fingering herself in front of him)
Misty: You want this puss, huh?! Well, you're not getting it!!!
Taco Bell Dog's Spirit: Damn, bitch...
Misty: (kicks him in the balls, hard) You're gonna wish you were in
Hell, you fucking...(kicks him again)
(Maliduna, sub-commander of Hell appears)
Maliduna: Sorry, lady, I've got to take his spirit back to hell,
where he belongs.
Misty: LIKE HELL YOU WILL! (takes out a mallet and chases Malidugna)
Maliduna: AAAAAAHHH!!! Christ, Malebolgia's better than this bitch!
Misty: NO ONE CALLS ME A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Here's what's going on: Pikachu fucks Jenny, Joy fucks Ash and his
Vulpix, Brock runs off to God-knows-where, Bob keeps on fucking, and
Misty catches up to Maliduna and beats the demon shit out of him)
Pikachu: God, I love this ship!!!
And just then, BILL CLINTON WALKS IN!!! (If I die in the next two days,
blame the secret service and avenge my death by blowing up Congress.)
Robin: Holy Swiss Miss, Batman, it's the President!
Batman: Robin, shut the fuck up and blow me!
Clinton: Hey everybody, I made it!
Pikachu: (runs over to him) Dude, I'm so glad you came, man! It
wouldn't be a party without you!
Ash: Hey, didn't he die in 2027?
Pikachu: Are you kidding? This man is our god! He got blown in the
Oval Office, and he got away with it!!!
Ash: Geez, maybe I shouldn't have told my mom to vote for him...
Pikachu: Are you kidding? Hell, you just knew there would be trouble
in the White House when they let a governer from
*Arkansas* be President!
Ash: Yeah, I guess so...
Clinton: Hey, I brought Monica! Who wants a BJ?
All: I DO!!!
The End!!!
And that concludes the first season of Pokémon: The Next Pikachu!
If I feel up to it, (and if enough people request it) I might start the
next season early (depending on how many episodes I already have
written by the time I post this.)
On the next Pokémon: The Next Pikachu!
Next time, we're going back to the future, present, and then...uh,
maybe it's the past of the future, and the present past, and...
[prepare for insanity]
GODDAMN FUCKING TIME-TRAVEL ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!
[returning to normal sanity]
Okay, next time, we have:
All the women from FF7!!!
Pikachu loses his sluts!
Brock humps every single part of the ship!
Dr. Applby takes more pictures of tits!
Jessie and James return!
All on the next episode of:
Pokémon: The Next Pikachu!
The Master of Eternal Darkness,
Shadow