PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


On the last episode of PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!  We traveled back to
the past/future [not getting into this again] and relived the wild 
party that got Brock laid!!!  Now we go back on track with our 
regularly scheduled timeline, and the next season and episode of

PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


Today's guest-stars are:
Cloud, Tifa, Aeris and Yuffie from FF7!!!


Episode VII:  Attack of the One-Liners

PokŽdate:  30623.01

Location:  The Kraaby Nebula

The Scene:  The Bridge (like it'd be anywhere else)

(everybody is doing their jobs, Abra and Misty are fucking in a corner,
and Brock is standing near the back of the bridge watching the 
viewscreen.  Suddenly, the Lone Ranger rides onto the bridge, shoots 
the captain and everybody else, and rides away!)

Brock:  What the fuck?!
Pikachu:  Oh, that was the Lone Ranger.
Brock:  Yeah, I figured that, but what the fuck was he doing here?
Pikachu:  He booked passage.
Brock:  But why did he ride through here shooting people?
Pikachu:  Because he requested the 'Shoot People Passenger Package.'
Brock:  But why do you let him shoot people?!?!?!
Pikachu:  Because he paid cash.
Brock:  But...he...(head explodes from frustration, then grows back)
Pikach:  Whoa, cool!  Let's see you do that again!

(shocks Brock's head off, but it doesn't grow back)

Pikachu:  Huh?  Oh, well, that guy was a bitch, anyway.

(just then, Brock walks onto the bridge)

Pikachu:  What the hell?!
Brock:  Hey, have you seen my clone?
Pikachu:  Your...what?
Brock:  My clone.  The doc said I should have a clone just in case I 
        need any extra major organs and...(sees his clone)
        WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!
Pikachu:  Well, see...
Brock:  WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY CLONE?!
Pikachu:  Hey, I ask the questions around here, bitch!  (shocks Brock)
Brock:  (muttering)  Fucking asshole...
Pikachu:  Where's my sluts?!?!?  I want a BJ!
Charmander:  Yeah, you and half the ship.

(Admiral Mewtwo appears on the viewscreen)

Mewtwo:  Hey, what's happening?
Pikachu:  Not much, sir.  We haven't exactly been busy here.
Mewtwo:  Yeah, I figured that.  Anyway, there's been a disappearance of
         a bunch of sluts in your area.  We think Team Rocket is behind
         it, and you've been given the mission to investigate.
         Good luck.  (viewscreen goes black)
Pikachu:  Damn, a slutnapping?  Makes me horny.  Where's my slut?!
Charmander:  Uh, sir, I'm not reading any Vulpix life signs.
Pikachu:  WHAT?!?!?!  WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?!?!?!
Charmander:  Actually, they're gone.  As well as...well, just about 
                every other slut on this ship, including yours.
Pikachu:  (head twitches)  Need...pussy...(runs off the bridge and
          humps the elevator)
Abra:  That dude's too horny for his own good.  Good thing I've got my
        very own...(looks down)  WHAT THE....?!?!?!  WHERE'S MISTY?!
Charmander:  You know, I was wondering why you were fucking thin air...
Abra:  Shut the fuck up!  I need pussy!  (humps the other elevator)
Charmander:  Damn, they've got a problem.

The Scene:  Rocket Ship, on the other side of the nebula

Misty:  Where the hell am I?
James:  You're on the Rocket ship to Hell!
Misty:  Fucking shit!  I don't believe this!  (reaches for a mallet)
        Hey, where the hell's my mallet?!
Jessie:  We've taken away your little toys, bitch!
Misty:  Yeah?  Well, I can kick ass without my mallet!

(Misty beats the shit out of James, then Jessie smacks her with a 
mallet, and she falls unconcious.)

The Scene:  The Bridge of the Rapidash

(Pikachu is sitting in his chair curled up in a little ball, trying to
jerk off, Abra is running around humping stuff, and Mewtwo is on the
viewscreen, getting a blowjob from Jenny)

Mewtwo:  Hey guys, how's the mission going?
Pikachu:  (twitching) J-just g-g-great sir...um, sir, 
          could you not do that now?
Mewtwo:  Oh, right, sorry.  (sends Jenny away)  So, how's it going?
Pikachu:  Well, sir, all our sluts are missing, and we have no idea
          who took them, or where they are.
Mewtwo:  Actually, I have a couple of leads for you.  We think Team
         Rocket took them, and we think they're just on the other side
         of the nebula.  Unfortunately, you'll have to go around it
         the long way.
Pikachu:  I don't know if we can last that long...
Mewtwo:  Yeah, that's kinda what I thought, so I found a bunch of 
         blades for hire, so to speak.  They should arrive on the 
         bridge right about...

(Cloud, Tifa, and Yuffie walk in)

Mewtwo:  Now!
Cloud:  Hey, Mewtwo, where are all the Vulpix?  I thought they were 
        included in the deal.
Mewtwo:  Hey, that's your mission, asshole.  Once you help these guys
         find their sluts, you can get a couple of your own.
Tifa:  Hey, what about us?
Mewtwo:  Well, let's see, there's about five hundred horny guys on that
         ship, so what are you worried about?
Yuffie:  What about the materia you promised?
Mewtwo:  For fuck's sake, would you three just do your fucking job?!
         We'll work out the details later!

(the viewscreen goes black)

The Scene:  Ash's quarters

(Ash is trying to find his vulpix, then Aeris walks in)

Ash:  Whoa, what the fuck?!?!
Aeris:  Huh?  How the hell did I get here?  The last thing I remember 
        is Sephiroth running me through, then I was here...
Ash:  Huh?  What?
Aeris:  Damn it, I'm horny!  It feels like I haven't fucked anything 
        for centuries!
Ash:  Umm...(starts getting hard)
Aeris:  Oh, well, you'll be better than my fingers.  (jumps Ash)

The Scene:  The Bridge

Charmander:  Hey, there's an unidentified life form in Ash's quarters.
Pikachu:  Okay, Abra, teleport them onto the bridge.
Abra:  I'll need a blowjob first.
Yuffie:  Oh, fine, I'll do it.  (sucks on Abra's cock)
Abra:  Woohoo!

(Ash and Aeris appear on the bridge, still fucking)
        
Cloud:  Huh?!  Aeris?!  I thought you were dead!
Aeris:  Nope, sorry, just horny!
Charmander:  Oh, yeah, now I remember!  The admiral told us we were 
                bringing another person from the past here to help.
Yuffie:  (still sucking on Abra's cock)  Mmm'd mm-mmm muh mmm mmph?
Abra:  What she said is, 'How'd you bring her back to life?'
Charmander:  Oh, we just transported her here before she died, then we
                used our medical technology to heal her.
Tifa:  Cool!
Pikachu:  You know, I've been wondering something ever since I laid 
          eyes on you... (jumps Tifa and rips off her shirt)
Tifa:  Holy...!  What the fuck are you doing?
Pikachu:  (licks a tit)  Holy shit, they're real!
Tifa:  Get the fuck off me!  (smacks him across the bridge)
Pikachu:  Whoo!  I love a slut who likes it rough!
Tifa:  Disgusting!
Cloud:  Can we get down to business, *please?*

The Scene:  The Rocket ship

(Misty is tied up to a torture rack and James is holding an iron dildo
over a fire, kind of like a branding iron.)

Jessie:  Hey, bitch, remember this voice?
Voice:  YO QUEIRO PUSSY!!!!!!
Misty:  Ah, fucking shit!

(And the Taco Bell dog makes his appearance!)

Misty:  Damn it!  Okay, how'd he get here?!?!?!
James:  We brought him back to life using the Rejuvinating 
        thing-a-ma-jig.  And he's VERY happy to see you!

(the Taco Bell dog jumps on Misty and starts fucking her)

Misty:  Shit!  This fucking sucks!
Taco Bell Dog:  Great idea, bitch!  (sticks his cock in her mouth)
Misty:  Hmph!!! (bites it off)
Taco Bell Dog:  AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  (grows another dick, then 
                fucks her asshole)
Misty:  DAMMIT!!!
James:  Hey, get the fuck off her!  I want to fuck her!
Taco Bell Dog:  No fucking way, senor estupido!
James:  (smashes him with a mallet)  Fuck you!  I want to fuck her!!!

(James and the Taco Bell dog start fighting, 
then Jessie starts licking Misty.)

The Scene:  The Rapidash, Ten-Forward

(Ash and Aeris are fucking all over the room, Cloud and Tifa are 
fucking on a table, and Yuffie is still sucking Abra.)

Pikachu:  DAMN IT, WHY CAN'T I GET LAID?!?!?!?!?!?!?

(runs across the room, shocks Cloud unconcious, then fucks Tifa)

Pikachu:  WOOHOO!

Cloud:  (wakes up, groaning)  Fucking... (takes out his sword)  Get the
        fuck off her!
Tifa:  (moaning)  Mind your own business, Cloud!
Cloud:  (sulking)  Damn, fucked over by a rodent...

(Charmander walks in)

Charmander:  Okay, that's enough fucking, now can we get to work?

(everyone cums, then gets dressed and goes to the bridge)

The Scene:  The Bridge

(Pikachu and Tifa are fucking in the front of the bridge, and everyone
else is standing around, trying to look professional.)

Pikachu:  Charmander, what's our current position?
Charmander:  I'd say doggy-style.
Pikachu:  Very funny, shithead.  Where's the Rocket ship?
Charmander:  It's about three light-years away, but if we go any 
                closer, they'll detect us on long-range sensors.
Pikachu:  So?  Let 'em!  I'm ready for a fight!
Charmander:  Yeah, right.

(Suddenly, the Bunny Man runs onto the bridge)

Bunny Man:  I'm the Bunny Man!  Love me!
All:  AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

(the Bunny Man leaves.)

The Scene:  The Infirmary

Brock:  Come on, doc, you gotta get me a slut!
Dr. Applby:  Look, there aren't any on the whole ship, 
                so shut the fuck up!
Brock:  You don't even have a plastic pussy?
Dr. Applby:  Why bother keeping fakes when there's a pussy readily
                available within five feet of you at all times?  
                Besides, what do you care?  You got laid.
Brock:  TWICE!!!
Dr. Applby:  Trust me, that's not something to be proud of.
Brock:  Please, just let me...
Dr. Applby:  (takes out a picture)  Watch the tits!
Brock:  Tits...............

The Scene:  The Rocket Ship

(James is fucking Misty, and Jessie is torturing the Taco Bell dog.
Suddenly, the Chicken Man comes in!)

Chicken Man:  I'm the Chicken Man!  Barbeque me!
All:  AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

(The Chicken Man crosses the road and gets hit by a Mach truck.  And
that's what happens when a Chicken Man crosses the road.)

James:  And that makes...(cums in Misty)  Eighteen!
Misty:  And it gets worse every time.
James:  Shut the fuck up, bitch!  (starts fucking her again)
Misty:  You could at least get me a Playboy, dickhead!

The Scene:  The Bridge

(everyone's doing their job, Brock is jerking off to the tits in a
corner, Aeris and Ash are *still* fucking.  Suddenly, the Machete Man
runs onto the bridge.)

Machete Man:  DIE BY MACHETE!!!  (runs off the bridge)
Brock:  Okay, this is getting really weird.
Pikachu:  Shut the fuck up, bitch.
Charmander:  Captain, we're in communications range with the Rocket 
                ship.  Should I hail them?
Pikachu:  Fuck yes, hail them!  Then blow them out of the sky!
Charmander:  Sir, if we destroy them, we won't get our sluts back.
Pikachu:  Oh, right.  Okay, hail them.

(the viewscreen flashes with a picture of Misty tied to a torture rack
and James fucking her.  Jessie is riding the Taco Bell dog in the 
corner.  One of the Rockets is fucking a female pikachu in front of the
viewscreen.)

Pikachu:  DAMN IT, GIVE ME BACK MY SLUTS!!!!
Rocket:  Fuck you!  Open fire!
James:  Huh?  Oh, right!

(The Rocket ship fires on the Rapidash, then they fire back, then 
Pussy Man, the universe's biggest freak runs onto the bridge)

Pussy Man:  I'm the Pussy Man!  Fuck me!
Yuffie:  HOLY SHIT, IT'S A GIANT TALKING PUSSY!
Brock:  Oh my God, it's my worst nightmare come to life!

The Scene:  My Producer's Office

Producer:  Listen, what the fuck is with all these weird freaks running
           around?  I thought those guys from FF7 were guest-starring.
Shadow:  Yeah, but those guys all requested one-liners in this episode,
         and I figured it couldn't hurt.
Producer:  This is supposed to be a quality lemon, and you're turning
           it into a circus sideshow!
Shadow:  Yeah, right!  This thing stopped being quality when I turned
         Evan into a lemon salesman.
Producer:  That reminds me, Evan still wants to know when you're going
           to post that lemon about him and Misty.
Shadow:  (exasperated)  I'm working on it!

The Scene:  The Bridge of the Rapidash

(the Rapidash has just blasted the hell out of the Rocket ship, and now
they're going through the terms of surrender.  I apologize for anybody
who wanted to see a good fight, but I really didn't have time.  Let's
just say Cloud and Tifa beat up all the Rockets, Yuffie put a bunch
of holes in their ship, and Aeris killed a bunch of them with magic.)

Pikachu:  Abra!
Abra:  Yeah, boss?
Pikachu:  Contact the others and get them to teleport all those sluts 
          back onto our ship!
Abra:  Sure, boss.

(By the way, if you're wondering how Team Rocket got all those sluts
from the Rapidash, I'm just gonna say they used Kadabra's, who have a 
much longer teleportation range than Abras.  I can't really think up a 
better explanation than that at the moment.)

The Scene:  Vulpix Storage

Ash:  So...we got all the Vulpix back, so which one is mine?
Bob:  (points one out)  That one!
Ash:  How the fuck can you tell?
Bob:  Because she looks like she's only been fucked twice.
Ash:  (embarrassed)  Well....she....looks at me!
Bob:  Sure she does.
Ash:  Fuck that, I'm horny!  (picks up his Vulpix and sticks his cock
        in her)  Aaah!  (pulls out)  It's all mushy!
Bob:  Huh?  (sticks his finger in another)  Whoa, they're all fucked 
        out!  Looks like Team Rocket really enjoyed themselves.
Ash:  But...I can't fuck her like this!
Pikachu:  Time for the Revirginizer! (my own creation!)
Misty:  The what?
Bob:  The Revirginizer!  It'll make all these Vulpix virgins again!
Ash:  Whoa, cool!  Let's do it!

The Scene:  The Revirginizer Room

Bob:  Okay, all we have to do is throw the switch!
Igor:  Switch....virgin....fuck....
Pikachu:  Just throw the fucking switch, Frankenbitch!

(Igor throws the switch, and all the Vulpix are covered in light for a
few seconds, then Igor hits the switch again, and the light dies down.)

Ash:  (picks up his Vulpix and sticks his dick inside)  
        Whoa!  Totally tight!
Bob:  Umm, I'd be careful if I were you...
Ash:  (trying to get his cock inside)  Huh?  Why?
Bob:  Because now that she's a virgin, you might hurt her, 
        and if you do...
(Ash tries to push in further, then the Vulpix squeals, turns around,
and fries his head.)

Ash:  Ouch.
Bob:  Told you.
Aeris:  I wonder what would happen if a guy went in.....
Pikachu:  Like the bitch?
Brock:  No, wait!

(Pikachu shocks Brock unconcious, throws him in, Igor throws the 
switch, and in short, Brock is a virgin again!)

Brock:  Huuhhh.......what the......SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm a virgin again!
Pikachu:  (laughing hysterically)  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
          YOU'RE STILL A BITCH!!!!!!!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

(by the way, I don't really know how a guy could become a virgin again,
but since this is my machine and my lemon, it's my choice.  Of course,
my producer's right, this lemon is getting a little weird.)

The Scene:  The Bridge, about an hour later

(Suddenly, the Furby Man runs in!)

Furby Man:  I'm the Furby Man!  I......
All:  DIE, FURBY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!

(Pikachu shocks his fir off, Misty smacks him with a mallet, Tifa 
punches him in the balls, Aeris beats him with her staff, Yuffie stabs
him with her that big-ass ninja star, and Cloud slices his dick off.
Brutal, ain't it?)

The End!!!

(Okay, as for future episodes, everybody from FF7 will be gone, at 
least for the next episode.  In episode 9 I'll be bringing back whoever
wins the 'favorite character' vote.)


On the next PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!

We finally figure out what happened to that Flareon!
Pikachu grows another dick!
The ship enters the Chaos Zone!!!
Everything gets really fucked up!!!

It's total chaos on the next episode of:

PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


The Master of Eternal Darkness,

Shadow

-- 
'Dreams are the stuff of fantasy...enjoy them 
when possible, remember them always'

"When the forces of darkness finally overtake me,
I hope I have enough strength left to beat the shit
out of Bill Gates."
CEO of Linux Software, A.D. 1999

"When pigs fly and dogs carry guns, go back 
to bed and stay there."

"The easiest way to gain power is to take it from those who have it."

Icy Lock:  I yelled at the voices in my head in public and named them.
Shadow:  Oh, have you met Bob?

"Fantasy is what goes on inside your head.  Reality is everything else."

"You want to know what the Force is?  It's my cock!  You happy now?"
-Dennis Miller as George Lucas