PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


Last time, on [if you don't know by now, you're an idiot] a bunch of
the crew went down to the planet, found a shack in the middle of
nowhere with hundreds of sluts!  Unfortunately, they were all male.
Sucks, huh?  Not as much as when Ash and Brock made out and almost
fucked each other.  By the way, yes, Pikachu is ever-so-slightly
homophobic, as if you didn't already guess it.  Okay, now here comes
your regularly-scheduled dose of:

PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


Ummm...let's see, guest-stars...well, I can't think of any, but we have
two new cast members!  Admiral Mewtwo will be staying on the Rapidash
for a few days, and I've decided that Ash's new half-human half-Vulpix
slut should be able to speak, so she'll have lines, so she's a cast
member now!  Wait, this just in:  The magic dancing 8-ball will be
last-minute guest-starring, so three cheers for the magic dancing....
Hey, wait a damn minute here...

Actually, there's a bunch of guest-stars here.  See if you can spot
them all!


Episode XI:  Conspiracy Theory  (no offense to Mel Gibson)

PokŽdate:  30708.11

Location:  PokŽStation 84

The Scene:  Misty's Quarters

Misty is pacing back and forth in her bedroom naked (why, I can't say)
Her two-way video phone beeps, indicating she has an incoming call.
She presses a button, and Pikachu's face flashes on the screen.

Misty:  AAAAHHH!!!  Don't do that before breakfast!
Pikachu:  Breakfast?!  It's 11:00 AM!
Misty:  I overslept.  What'dya want, anyway?
Pikachu:  I need you to come to the bridge.  There's something you need
          to see.
Misty:  What?
Pikachu:  What did I just say?!  Come to the bridge, bitch!
Misty:  NOBODY CALLS ME A BITCH!!!  (runs off to the bridge with
                                     a mallet)

The Scene:  The Bridge

(Pikachu is watching his sluts lick each other and gazing at an 8-ball
that's sitting next to them.  Misty walks in holding her mallet, but
unfortunately, she neglected to get dressed.)

Misty:  NO ONE CALLS ME A -
Pikachu:  Shut up and look!
Misty:  What?!
Pikachu:  The 8-ball!  It can sing and dance!
Misty:  (silence)  ..............................WHAT?!?!?!?!
Pikachu:  Watch!
Misty:  Fuck you.

(Misty looks away, then the 8-ball sprouts legs and starts dancing and
singing)

8-Ball:  Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!
Pikachu:   Look look look!!!

(turns around, but the 8-ball sits down and doesn't move)

Misty:  What?
Pikachu:  Damn it, it just did it!
Misty:  Did what? (turns away again)

(The 8-ball sprouts legs again, runs across the bridge and jumps into
Misty's cunt)

8-Ball:  (muffled singing)  Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my
         ragtime gal!
Misty:  What the hell?!?!?!

(the 8-ball jumps out of Misty's pussy and starts dancing and singing)

8-Ball:  Send me a kiss by wire!  Baby, my heart's on fire!
Misty:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs away)
8-Ball:  Hello my baby-
Pikachu:  (to 8-Ball)  You are so annoying.  (silence)  Wait a minute,
          was she naked?!?!  Damn it, I fucking missed it!!!!!

The Scene:  The Infirmary

(Misty runs in, still naked)

Misty:  Doc, you gotta help me, I think I'm going crazy!

(suddenly, she sees the doctor fucking Abra)

Misty:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        (runs away again)

(the doctor turns around and we see that the Abra he's fucking has tits
and a pussy.)

Dr. Applby:  What the hell was that?
Fem. Abra:  Shut up and fuck me!

The Scene:  Ash's Quarters

(Ash and Alysa are sitting on the couch, naked.  Suddenly, Misty comes
in, panting and still naked.)

Ash:  So, how do you like it here?
Alysa:  It's nice.
Ash:  Want to fuck?
Alysa:  I would love to!
Ash:  Great!  (squeezes her tits)  Honk, honk!
Alysa:  Please don't do that.
Ash:  Sorry...

(Misty runs out again, then Ash and Alysa have wild, passionate sex.)

The Scene:  Engineering

(Charmander is working with Flareon on something.  Misty runs in, then
trips over a pokŽmon.)

Misty:  AAAAHH!!!  (thump!)  Damn it!  What the hell?!?!  (looks at
        the pokŽmon)  Whoa!!!
Charmander:  What?  What is it?
Misty:  Oh my god, it's a beach ball with an ass!!!
Charmander:  What?!?!  That's a Voltorb!!!
Misty:  Huh?  (looks closer)  Oh.  Umm...
Flareon:  I think you owe him an apology.
Misty:  Right.  (to the Voltorb)  I'm sorry you look like an ass.
Flareon:  That wasn't what I meant.  Wait, where's your clothes?
Misty:  Huh?  (looks down)  Umm....yikes.  This is like a bad dream...

(Misty runs out, and Charmander and Flareon go back to work.)

The Scene:  The ship's counselor's office

(Brock is laying on a couch and the counselor is sitting in a chair
next to him)

Counselor:  So, you think you might be a homosexual.
Brock:  I AM NOT GAY!!!!!!!  I just need some advice.
Counselor:  My first piece of advice would be to use a lubricant.
Brock:  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!  I told you, I'm not gay!!!
Counselor:  Do you think these feelings stem from your mother?
Brock:  My mother's dead!
Counselor:  So now you're thinking of becoming a necrophiliac?
Brock:  DAMMIT, NO!!!!!  Stop twisting my words!!!
Counselor:  Interesting, you say you feel like jacking off right now...
Brock:  What the hell are you talking about?!?!
Counselor:  Ah, you're into devil worship, now we're getting somewhere.
Brock:  You're nuts!!!
Counselor:  Now you want to try squirrel fucking?
Brock:  That's it, I'm outta here!

(Brock gets up to leave, but the counselor jumps him and rips his
clothes off.  And before your minds go straight into yaoi mode, the
counselor is a woman.  And a Grimer.  Poor Brock.  Oh, well.)

Brock:  AAAAACKKK!!!
Counselor:  Shut up and tell me about your dreams!!

The Scene:  The Bridge, about ten minutes later

(Misty walks onto the bridge [fully clothed] and looks around.  Pikachu
is still staring at the 8-ball and not even notices the video of Jenny
and Joy fucking.)

Misty:  (sees the video)  Whoa... (a wet spot appears on her shorts)
Pikachu:  (to the 8-ball)  Damn it, dance!!!

(suddenly, Don Quixote rides in on his horse carrying a big-ass lance)

Don Quixote:  Let the winds of fury set sail on the flatulence of
                John Paul Magoo!!!

(he charges at the 8-ball, then it sprouts legs again and runs away)

Pikachu:  I thought we left the Chaos Zone...
Misty:  What in the hell is going on here?!?!?!
Pikachu:  Ask Bob, I think he invited some of his friends to come visit
          him while we're docked here.
Misty:  Fine, I'll just go do that!

The Scene:  Level 12, Section 4a, the airlock

(Misty storms into the airlock and runs up to Bob)

Bob:  Well, hey there, Mis- (gets smacked by a mallet)
Misty:  What the hell is going on here?!?!?!
Bob:  Uhh, what're you talking about?
Misty:  There's been some really freaky shit going on here, okay?!?!
        We're not in the Chaos Zone again, are we?
Bob:  Uh, no, we're not.  Actually, it's probably the Dittos.
Misty:  Excuse me?
Bob:  I met a big group of Dittos on the station, and I invited them to
        come aboard.  I guess they're been causing some trouble, huh?
Misty:  'Some trouble'?!

(suddenly, Homer Simpson runs into the airlock)

Homer:  I am the very model of a modern Major General
        I've information vegetable, animal and mineral
        I can name the kings of England and...umm....
        D'oh!!!!!!!!  (runs out)

Bob:  Apparently, they like showtunes.

(suddenly, a wild tiger runs into the airlock and zeros in on Misty,
hard and ready!)

Tiger:  Gotta have that ass!!!
Misty:  AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!

The Scene:  Engineering

(Abra and Ash are glaring at each other over a computer console)

Abra:  Okay, why did you call me here?
Ash:  YOU'RE FUCKING MY WOMAN!!!
Abra:  Damn it, you've got a beautiful slut that'll fuck you whenever
        you want, so why do you want Misty back?
Ash:  Because even though we were fucking, she was my friend, and now
        that she's got you, she doesn't even look at me without
        smacking me with that mallet!
Abra:  So what'dya want to do about it?
Ash:  I challenge you to a contest of strength, stamina, and endurance!
Abra:  What do you propose?
Ash:  We jerk off for an hour and see who cums the most!
Abra:  Okay.

The Scene:  Holodeck 3

(the place looks like 'Central Perk' from 'Friends.'  Everybody is
sitting around drinking coffee.)

Phoebe:  So when I caught him sleeping with my sister, I figured I
         might as well break up with him.  He wasn't being very
         nurturing.
Rachel:  Too bad Ross wasn't very nurturing before he cheated on me.
Ross:  WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!! (his head explodes)
Chandler:  That'll ruin his weekend.

(suddenly, someone walks into the coffee shop.  And he's NAKED!)

Joey:  Hey look, it's Ugly Naked Guy!
Ugly Naked Guy:  I have a name, you know.
Chander:  Yes, but Ugly Naked Guy sounds so much better than Phil.
Ugly Naked Guy:  Anyway, I just wanted to know why you guys keep
                 watching me from that window.
Monica:  You knew we were watching you?
Ugly Naked Guy:  Didn't you guys notice I always had an erection?

(suddenly, Misty runs by being chased by the wild tiger)

Misty:  Somebody stop this fucking pussy, please!!!!
Tiger:  Must...fuck...ass....

Joey:  That was weird...
Phoebe:  Not as weird as Ross marrying his sister.  (remember?)

The Scene:  Engineering

(Misty runs by, then trips and falls on her hands and knees.  The tiger
jumps her and ass-fucks her.)

Misty:  Damn it!!!  Will somebody PLEASE help me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Ash:  (jerking off)  Misty, do you mind?  We're in the middle of
        something here!
Abra:  (finishes)  That's fourteen!
Misty:  AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!
Ash:  Damn it, Misty, you distracted me!!!

(Misty finally gets away from the tiger and starts running again)

The Scene:  The Bridge

(one of the Dittos morphs into Darth Vader and walks up to Pikachu)

Darth:  Pikachu, I am your father!
Pikachu:  Wow!  How the hell did you ever fit in my mother?
Darth:  Uhhh......huh?
Pikachu:  Wait a minute, you're Luke's father, right?
Darth:  Uhhh.....yeah.
Pikachu:  Cool!  I'm a Jedi!
Darth:  Ummm....oh, this is stupid, forget it.  (morphs back)
Pikachu:  Whoa!  Teach me how to do that!
Ditto:  I'm not a Jedi, you fucking simpleton!
Pikachu:  I knew that, I just needed time to build up electricity!

(Pikachu shocks the Ditto's balls off and knocks him unconcious)

Pikachu:  Fuckin' ass.

(suddenly, Misty runs across the bridge, still being chased by the
tiger, makes three consecutive laps, then runs off the bridge.)

Pikachu:  Is it so much to ask to have a normal day on this ship?!?!?!

The Scene:  Somewhere in the ship, ten minutes later

(Misty is still being chased by the tiger, then she trips again and he
jumps her and sticks his cock in her ass again)

Misty:  Damn it, that's it!  (pulls out a mallet and smashes him)

(suddenly, the tiger deflates like a balloon, and what's left is...)

Taco Bell Dog:  Yo queiro ass!!!
Misty:  What the hell?!?!  You again?!?!  (yanks him up by his head and
        puts a knife to his neck)  Why in the hell did you bother with
        the tiger thing?!?!
Taco Bell Dog:  Boss man said to fuck you, I had to put on the tiger
                suit...please don't kill me, I haven't had a Gordito
                yet...
Misty:  Shut up!  (stabs him in the gut)  Who's your boss?!?!?!
Taco Bell Dog:  (weakly and in pain)  Boss...is the big boss....
Misty:  Huh?  What the hell does that mean?
Taco Bell Dog:  Uhhh, uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....(dies, then another clone
                runs in)  Yo queiro ass!!!
Misty:  Fuck you! (takes out a 3-wood and drives him home! [pun very
        much intended])

(suddenly...)

Announcer:  It's the Poetry Man!

Poetry Man:     I'm a little bastard,
                short and stout.
                This is my penis,
                it'll make you shout.

(runs away)

Misty:  What I'd like to know is how the hell that guy got onboard...

The Scene:  Engineering

(Ash is lying on the ground with a limp dick and drool coming out of
the corner of his mouth.  Abra is asleep, and he doesn't look like he's
going to wake up anytime soon.  Misty walks in carrying the 3-wood and
the knife.)

Misty:  (muttering)  Damn dog, damn tiger, damn Pikachu, damn 8-ball,
        damn showtunes, damn Clinton, damn Dittos, damn Ross, damn girl
        from the copy place...  (sees Ash and Abra, and drops the
        knife)  I don't even want to know...

The Scene:  Admiral Mewtwo's quarters

(Misty walks into his bedroom to find Jenny and Joy making out in front
of a camera and Mewtwo watching with a hard-on and a smile)

Mewtwo:  Hey there, sweet thang, how's it going?
Misty:  Did you have anything to do with that damn dog trying to
        ass-fuck me?
Mewtwo:  Actually, I paid him to get you horny, but I can see he took
         it a little too far.
Misty:  What?!?!  Why did you want him to get me horny?!
Mewtwo:  Isn't that obvious?  So that you'd fuck me!
Misty:  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

(Misty looks at Jenny and Joy, then looks at Mewtwo's hard-on, then
back at Jenny and Joy.)

Misty:  Oh, what the hell, it's not like Abra will ever know.

(Misty jumps Mewtwo and they fuck the live-long day!)

The Scene:  The Bridge

(Pikachu is fucking his sluts and watching the viewscreen, which is
showing Mewtwo fucking Misty)

Pikachu:  Damn, I really love this ship!!!

(suddenly, the magic dancing 8-ball runs in)

8-Ball:  Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!!!
Pikachu:  DAMMIT!!!

Guess what?  It's The End!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess I finally wrote another lemon with Mewtwo fucking Misty.  It's
somewhat shorter than I would've preferred, though.  Oh well, maybe now
that Mewtwo's Concubine is back, she'll oblige me and write a lemon
about them.  By the way, I realize Aeris and Yuffie weren't in this
episode, I just didn't want to bother trying to fit them in.  Maybe
Maybe I'll find the time next time.

Oh yeah, I wanted to give credit to Rosie, (only name I know) for
giving me a bunch of story ideas for this episode, including that
contest thing.  I'd list them all out except there's too many.  Thanks
much! ^_^

Okay, enough of that, now let's see what's on the next episode of:

PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!

The Rapidash goes back to the past!!!
Ash and Alysa fuck some more!
Those pictures of Brock as a tit get developed!!!
The crew tries to understand the ways of the past!!
Pikachu tries out the sluts of yesteryear!!
Mewtwo gets a lot of weird looks!  (it's probably the uniform)

This stuff and lots of other shit on the next episode of:

PokŽmon:  The Next Pikachu!


The Master of Eternal Darkness,

Shadow